“I Just Wanted My Kids to Have Everything That I Didn’t…”
“I Just Wanted My Kids to Have Everything That I Didn’t.”
How many times have we heard someone mutter this (or, if you are a parent, muttered it yourself?) and fail to realize the duality in play here. Sure, if you are someone who grew up with dirt for a front yard (or a sidewalk with 475 people posted on the corner at all hours) and wore the same clothes to school every day of the week, and had to piecemeal one serving of food into three days of food, or never traveled anyplace as a child, didn’t have any toys, any video games or the like, you will feel this way. However, if you developed any character during those times, you realize how important it is to appreciate earning (whether it be through an allowance to your children or a job) and valuing things, as opposed to becoming entitled, spoiled and selfish. Without rehashing my rant about “millennials” — who were failed by their parents just as much as their entitlement issues make them annoying to older generations. That is the key thing here.
There is nothing wrong with wanting your children to have nice things, but simply shoving material things their way is not beneficial for anyone. Without context, without an explanation regarding the value of those things, they will come to believe that people “owe” them things, which everyone of age knows is not true in this cold world. No one owes anyone anything, and those who truly possess the mindset that they are owed anything tend to be some of the biggest headaches that anyone can ever come across.
You see some of the richest people in the world who make their children work from scratch. Some think this is coincidental, but this is not so. The very perseverance, purpose, drive and dedication that made them multi-millionaires and billionaires are traits that they do not want to have lost on their children. Therein lies the interesting dichotomy and divergence of thinking processes. People who come from nothing gain a little and want to lavish material things upon their children. People who are wealthy tend to give their children privileges and nice things, but still ensure that they understand that there is no shortcut to success without the work and purposeful drive that they utilized themselves to reach their goals.
In short, there is nothing with nice things, but do not lose the context and actually do your children more harm in the long run than good.