One of the Biggest Reasons Many Men are Shunning Marriage…
I have always been cynical and jaded. And given my academic/professional background, I am only further predisposed to such an existence. When I was in my early 20s, I saw how the pendulum was swinging. I was never a guy who was looking to top Wilt or exist merely to add notches to my belt. If things went down, they did, but that beats the alternative (pun intended). However, my eye has always been on marriage and not missing the right woman if/when she came along, even when I was 21, 22 years of age, had ever incentive to do the complete opposite and so forth.
Into my mid-20s, I was flowing financially, had three streams of income and managing work, school, a non-profit organization and heading a ministry in church. Some of the things I saw only made me further cynical; whether addressing just how “church women” conducted themselves in relation to men, or just women in general, Christian or otherwise. The tone was generally the same, and you see it play out every day — if you have your money right, have some sort of status or title, you will always have women at your feet (for those who love to internalize generalizations and feel the need to say, “NOT ALL women do this, I don’t!” learn to take the meat and leave the bone if it doesn’t apply to you personally) but if you don’t have the steady income, fall on hard times in terms of employment, and don’t have material things, GOOD LUCK.
For this reason, I only wanted to marry even more, before I “blew up” and found myself questioning the motives of every single woman I came across. Whether just or not, that is an understandable sentiment, and many men share it.
Don’t believe me? Just watch this snippet that accurately depicts what I am referring to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iyeUcFKRv4
It may not be as extreme as this, particularly with the Gallardo utilized by this guy, but I can definitely say that I have observed the fortunes of many of the guys I know, and can use my own experiences (people who have known me for more than 10 years know what my wave was and saw how women — even and ESPECIALLY those in the church — comported themselves in relation to me. With such an overt and pronounced vibe that basically says, “I’m independent, I don’t need you for anything, anyway, so if you don’t bring anything (material things, character and integrity are incidental) to the table, then curve,” then it isn’t really all that difficult to understand why so many men are reluctant to marry.
Never mind the general moral decline within the social context.
Everything is a cost-benefit analysis in life, especially in the life of a man when it comes to his time, energy, money and emotions. When you begin to start talk about lifetime commitments, it is harder than ever to judge the true character and motives of women nowadays; particularly by comparison to what it was just 20 years ago. Older people fail to realize this, but when you see women who are looking to make up for centuries of men blatantly cheating and cavorting with other women outside of their relationships and marriage by doing the same — at a higher clip — and have people willing to bail out on a relationship the minute the novelty and hormones stop raging, then it really isn’t all that difficult to comprehend. Social media only further magnifies the habits of some. When you see a woman who is more content with drawing attention from desperate, sex-crazed predators, and focused upon complaining about how they draw nothing but negativity and headaches from the men they deal with, you are only further discouraged from ever making such a commitment to someone who appears to be double-minded and unstable in their ways.
All hope is not lost, however.