Lady in the Street/Freak in the Sheets? Utter Nonsense.
This axiom has always bugged me, because of what it implies. While I get the sentiment — I really do — I still have a problem with it, ultimately. Even as I have gotten older and understood in greater detail the nuances of male-female relationships with each passing day, the axiom just further bothers me every time I hear it uttered.
First of all, let us just agree that the essence of relationships is feeding off each other; one is to submit to the other both their love, affection, and sexual desires. Right? Right. Submission is a touchy subject only for those who fail to realize what submission truly means (and failing to realize that men are to submit equally to their woman — although you won’t hear control freak men ever admit this truism). While everyone has their sexual desires that they endeavor to have fulfilled (which comes with communicating that desire to your partner, rather than solely going for your own and leaving them unfulfilled). When both have desires and the other has communicated to the other what their desires are, AND both partners seek to fulfill the desires of the other, both are fulfilled — generally (barring physical issues ha).
This whole Mary Magdalene complex has a hand in the whole phenomenon. Some women believe that men view this in such black and white terms. This is not so, generally speaking.
First of all, what is deemed to be “ladylike” is subjective. While there is a general consensus that can be agreed upon regarding what a lady is and what a lady is NOT, the whole thing about “freak” (or “whore”) in the sheets , as if it is dichotomous to being a lady, is bothersome. You may view this as being hung up on semantics. I will not agree. The problem in my eyes is that some view that doing anything other than missionary sex is “slutty stuff” God forbid you do anything that is up until the point where it leaves “sexual relations” and enters something of the macabre or ridiculous, where some inanimate, non-human object, or something perverse beyond that. Fulfilling sexual desires is not “freaky.” Freaky is when you leave the actual sexual relations realm, and the only way there is some sort of fulfillment is when there is something that does not involve the body of the other person, or some fixation on one body part, where this is the only means of fulfillment (that is the difference between appreciation and “fetish”, by the way — when you can ONLY be aroused and fulfilled by certain things, that is a fetish — when you have an affinity to certain areas on the body, but are aroused and climax independent of contact with those areas, it is simply that, an affinity… to clear up the overuse and misuse of the term “fetish.”)
You can be a lady in the workplace, in the corporate arena, in academia (or a bitch, if that is how you fashion yourself), and be a lady in the sheets — AND do everything that people who engage in actual sexual intercourse would do. You do not transform from Dr. Jekyll to Mrs. Hyde because you do more than closed-mouthed kissing and missionary position sex.
— Someone who wishes certain colloquialisms had died before they were ever born.