“Real” This, “Real” That, Nothing’s “Real” But the BS You’re Selling


“Real” This, “Real” That, Nothing’s “Real” But the BS You’re Selling
M.D. Wright
8.16.2013

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t scroll through the various news feeds that I have on social media, where I read peoples’ comments, status updates, memes and other posts using the “Real Men” or “Real Women” tagline in order to denigrate (indirectly, as cowards and those who are unaccountable for their role in their previous relationships, do) the men or women (or both) in their respective pasts. In addition to this, the mythical “they” — the same “they” who say “Cut your age in half and add seven, and that’s the youngest that you should date” — a “they” consisting of a conglomerate of people that does not exist and cannot be quantified, are the “they” who seem to embody this group of “Real Men” and “Real Women” that so many seem to pine for more and more nowadays. Without ridiculing the foolishness of expecting perfection from a (fellow) fallible being, let’s just focus on how foolish the expectation is coming from someone who has unchecked issues and spends the majority of his/her life blame-shifting toward others whenever something untoward takes place in his/her life.

You know the drill, you come of age, you engage in relationship with someone, you partake in copious amounts of coitus, one or both catches feelings, it may or may not be good for a while, a child(ren) may or may not be born(e) of the union, but eventually, one or both has what I call a Human Moment, and the other (or both) doesn’t like it. Suddenly, it is World War III on every member of that gender from here to perpetuity. First of all, where does this current generation get off expecting someone to be perfect, when they, themselves are 100% surely far from it themselves? Where does the expectation arise that so many people nowadays expect more from others than they themselves produce? What of this? This mindset is akin to having that one person who bullshits their way through a group assignment, expecting an “A”, yet receives a “D”, and gets upset when the rest of the group dimes them out to the professor for not pulling their weight.

What? He was mighty “real” when you showed up at work walking sideways like Madame Yes and “glowing” for about a month. She was mighty real when you refused to shave your mustache and “soul patch” until further notice. Why, all of a sudden, when he/she reminds you that they are human (as it is usually either something petty or trivial, or something that had revealed itself as an issue well before the final straw broke Jay-Z‘s the camel’s back? When you do decide to part company, after the first day or so — regardless of who was at “fault” (usually, both parties have a modicum of fault, regardless of what took place) — instead of railing against him/her incessantly on social media (and making people wary about dealing with you in any regard that requires trust, by the way…) your focus should turn inward, where you evaluate yourself and the things that YOU are doing, that may contribute to the headaches and blown relationships. You know, something that most people refuse to do, because the ugly truth in the mirror is too much for them to digest?

This is part of the reason why so people end up on the same merry-go-round ride in every relationship that they involve themselves. It’s always the other person’s fault. It’s never time to call his/her decision-making and willful actions into accountability. Besides, ultimately what people who fall into the constant bitching about who’s “Real” (i.e. “perfect-and-never-gets-on-my-nerves-nor-disagrees-with-me-despite-the-fact-that-I-am-full-of-shit-half-of-the-time”) fail to realize is that when people see and hear you engaging in such behavior on a daily basis, that they are making mental notes (if they are of the cloth of wisdom) about your character and know that not only can they not expect to develop a healthy friendship/relationship/marriage with you, but know that you probably cannot be trusted any further than you can be thrown (no fat jokes here). For someone who blame-shifts and somehow does not hold him/herself to the same standard that they hold others will end up costing your business partnership money and will still find a way to blame OTHERS for it.

Who’s “Real” now? Stop pointing fingers at others and work on meeting the standard that you set for others. Better yet, realize before you even attempt to meet that standard, that you CANNOT, and realize that you are expecting God from Fallible Humans. The same people who run around foolishly saying “Trust no one but myself” are of this same ilk, and this is aimed at you.

I couldn’t care less if you don’t like it, delete me from social media or not, but you are full of shit. You should be thanking me for telling you the truth, but if you are still in that same mindset, you’d resort to getting angry and deleting/blocking, rather than being glad that someone pointed out the way you appear with your 714 “Real Men Do”/”Only Real Women Do” posts per day.

Real Men 1

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