You’ve Got “Trust Issues”? Have Several Seats, Please.
Human beings are a unique bunch. We are leaps and bounds more “civilized” than the rest of our animal kingdom counterparts, yet at the same time, more savage and uncouth than most animals in given scenarios. One of those scenarios is undoubtedly when it comes to the inevitable betrayal that every single human being will face in life if he/she lives to see their 4th birthday. Much less their 40th. Jesus Christ was betrayed several times over. Who do YOU think YOU are, then, that you are above ever being disappointed, hurt, misled or betrayed?
The interesting thing when it comes to betrayal and trust is to watch how people react to it when the inevitably face it. Some people have greater resolve, realize that it is a learning experience, and glean what it is that they could be doing that cause them to become a constant target — all without developing that distasteful and cringe-worthy bitterness and resentment that you hear from many people who run around proudly expressing, “I don’t trust anyone but ME.” Others become immediately bitter, make inner vows to never trust anyone ever again, and erect walls in a 100% guaranteed futile attempt to never be hurt (you’ll still end up hurting yourself invariably, but you’ll learn that the hard way, eventually). A wise person realizes that human are all fallible beings and, as such, are prone to doing things that cause others pain. Some do it intentionally, some have no idea that what they say or do causes others to be pained. The wisdom enters the scenario when you take the stance that you do not allow the actions of others to change who you are, and cause a bitter root to develop in your heart. A strife-filled person kills everything around them: relationships, business prospects, chokes off blessings and, in the process, makes people wary of even dealing with them at all. Sure, no one strikes out in life and says, “I’d love to be hurt, let me conduct myself in the most naive, carefree and unwitting manner possible.” You have to possess a modicum of self-preservation, because unfortunately, there are people who have been hurt so often that they seek to hurt others almost as if it were for sport.
However, in shutting off others, you hurt yourself, as well. You miss out on friendships, you cause people to flee from you or only deal with you peripherally (or solely to get what they want from you and keep it moving), you choke off blessings, you miss out on the right person for you, you alienate relatives and even your own dog won’t come near you except to beg for food. Worst yet, the people who utter the aforementioned, “I don’t trust anyone but ME” line are usually the least trustworthy people out there; particularly when they make such an utterance regarding people who they don’t even know. Are you that pessimistic that you think everyone is out to get you? Do you think you are perfect and have never (or never will again) cause someone to be hurt emotionally or physically in a relationship? Look back honestly and see how you have conducted yourself in all of your relationships with relatives, friends or significant others. There is virtually a 100% chance that you’ve said or done something that caused pain — whether you realize it or not. How then, do you think that you are that you think that you are the only person who should be exempt from being betrayed and have your trust violated? What have you done to warrant such a lofty pedestal?
Operate with wisdom when entering into relationships, yes, but there is a level of vulnerability that everyone must operate under in order to achieve a fruitful relationship. You cannot love (or be loved) without trusting. You cannot be loved if you are not trustworthy. How naive and immature is it, then, to get hurt once and suddenly declare that you don’t trust anyone?
The next time you feel inclined to state that you trust no one and decide to conduct yourself as such, stop and think about how you’ve done something that caused someone else pain, and led them to question their trust in YOU. If you can truthfully state that you’ve never done anything of the such, contact me. I want to shake your hand and buy some of what you’re selling.
Or not, come to think of it, since it is most likely horse excrement.