a. A male person whose sperm unites with an egg, resulting in the conception of a child.
b. A man who adopts a child.
c. A man who raises a child.
Conspicuously absent is there anything pertaining to a human being with fallopian tubes, a vulva, and eggs. The definition does not state, “A female person who simultaneously produces sperm and an egg, whose sperm also fertilizes the same’s egg, resulting in the conception of a child,” or “A woman who ignored her ‘Women’s Intuition’ and willfully went raw with a man that she knew was no good, watched him inevitably run off to leave her holding the bag (of diapers?)”
v. fa·thered, fa·ther·ing, fa·thers
1. To procreate (offspring) as the male parent.
2. To act or serve as a father to (a child).
3. To create, found, or originate.
4. To acknowledge responsibility for.
Again, nowhere in these definitions do you see anything giving license to a woman calling herself both a mother and a father. For the 793rd time, a woman is possibly the strongest creation that God has ever made, but she is incapable of teaching a boy how to become a man. Only a man — whether it be the child’s father, a stand-in/stepfather, an uncle, older brother/cousin or a male mentor can even begin to do so (while still being faced with assuaging the boy’s concerns about the identity and whereabouts of his biological father). I have mad love for women who hold it down for their families with no man in the picture. Whether she is a Reformed Slide who unexpectedly had her child(ren) and later became a Stand-Up Mother and overall wholesome woman, or whether she was just the victim of Svengali-esque tactics by a man who had even his best friends fooled (rare; sense the sarcasm), I have nothing but admiration for these women. I mean hell, I only have myself to be concerned with, and dropped out of law school partially due to the fact that it wore my nerves (and pockets) thin. I couldn’t fathom being a father in that state, yet I had several single mothers who were classmates of mine in law school with multiple children. So believe me, not only do I reiterate that women are stronger than men — look at my own mother, she wore more hats than Spike Lee wore courtside at Knicks games this season, for Christ’s sakes — I do not trivialize the task of being a single mother who has to juggle multiple responsibilities daily.
That said, this madness of gradually turning Father’s Day away from focusing on fathers, whether absentee, dead, or ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, into a holiday more aptly titled, “Bitter Broads Boldly Bashing and Bemoaning Brothers” judging by recent trends. And this is not relegated to the Black Community, either. Listen, we know the statistics about children growing up in homes without their fathers, leaving the mother to handle doing the work of two on her own. It’s tough, and for a myriad of reasons (not always due to irresponsibility on the father’s part), it happens. For those who merely had an absentee father, or are one of the aforementioned types who basically “knew what you were getting into” when, well… he “got into you,” your act is tired like a Dane Cook standup routine. You need new material. Namely, how about you ensure that you break the cycle by let’s say… ceasing to speak ill of your father and/or deadbeat “baby fawwva”? Because you do realize that by badmouthing these men — who refuse to be held accountable by other men, most of the time — you are only continuing the cycle. Your sons have become effeminate (http://wp.me/pVD3V-ko), often grow to hate their fathers, and resort to primitive means of “adjusting to adulthood” (not the least being impregnating women recklessly and referring to them as “bitches” and “cunts”, while devaluing women in general).
Meanwhile, your daughters often grow up with an irrational and warped cynicism where you intentionally chooses the worst of the worst when it comes to men, while talking herself out of worthwhile men, because she deems herself unworthy — partly due to having observed you relegate yourself to the same fate. And likewise, as you badmouth your father and/or your child’s father, she’ll do nothing but bash men as a means of transference, despite her own ill-advised decision-making in regards to men. This does nothing but attract similar lowlife scum, while it repels men who have good sense and want to avoid such tripe and drama.
Instead of using Father’s Day to spew some of the most acerbic vitriol that any of us witness at any point during the year, why not use it as a symbolic marker where you make the conscious effort to break the cycle?
Because this telling each other (as single mothers) “Happy Father’s Day” shit has got to stop. It is a slap to the face to all the good fathers and fathers-to-be who do not fit the profile of your scummy father or “dirty dick” child’s father. You had Mother’s Day, stop hoarding attention. That’s what got some of you knocked up by these cretins whose very existence that you curse in the first place.
What is this, a race to see who looks the stupidest?
So I will appreciate that my father was always there for me, and helped keep the car on the road when my near-death illness in high school, and the subsequent endless taunting ensued 24/7 for years. I had a volatile adolescence. I am fully convinced I would have pulled a Columbine and, if not that, be one of these dead beat fathers once I was healed and I became the cocky bastard that I grew into — all if my father had not been there to set the foundation that kept me rooted, despite circumstances that typically break boys who do not have their father as a constant guide.
For those women who have yet to become mothers, can ya do us all a favor and:
1. Stop getting involved with these worthless cads.
2. DEFINITELY stop having sex with them — RAW at that — and getting pregnant by them.
3. And make a conscious effort to get with the scores of men out here who want not only marriage, but to be a great father, because these past two generations have made nothing but a conscious effort to the complete opposite.
Maybe then, we’ll be able to celebrate Father’s Day as more than the afterthought that it has become, and just a reason to go out to eat and talk about anything other than the love that you have for your father/child’s father?
I’m about fed up, and before long, I’m going to start lighting into some of these man-bashing women, and the pleas for me to stop will fall on deaf ears. Consider this a preemptive strike/warning for this Sunday. Oh, and always, I don’t care who doesn’t like it, so save telling me that you don’t like it. That’s just your conscience being confronted with truth. I am merely the messenger of that truth, I dare you to talk the same way to the Message Bearer.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!