Why I Hate “Urban Dictionary.”


Why I Hate “Urban Dictionary.”
M.D. Wright
5.31.2013

Seriously? This embarrassment of a amalgamation of slag that is pages long of goofy, cornball, Emo-kid portmanteaus thrown together in some failed attempt at “creating” slang is what people are so often citing as their source for “slang” definitions? I am grossly embarrassed by some of the things that I have read from that page, as well as what some people cite (and be dead ass with it, too) as actual definitions.

From time to time, I have actually looked up certain terms just to see what would be posted there. Most of the time, I had to sift through several pages of “definitions” — most of which were so arcane and obscure that you must have literally needed to be there when the term was “created” to even understand the relevance or application — just to get to the one that I knew to be true. I read some of the definitions on there and I envision some doughy kid who picks and eats boogers as the types who post there. The worst is when slang terms with very specific, localized relevance get hijacked and turned into something completely new on Urban Dictionary.

Sort of like the sad case now when you Google ANYTHING related to “Harlem” and nothing but pages of “Harlem Shake” (i.e. the “dance” craze that features a bunch of people who look like resurrected zombies who have freebased meth, PCP and ‘shrooms) before you can arrive at results that are anything close to being relevant to what your search was intended.

Portmanteaus (not doing it, you should know the meaning anyway, look it up yourself, sorry) have their place in society, but when they become the de facto means of “developing slang,” you know you have missed the point of slang in the first place. And probably have a missing chromosome or two, as well.

Slang cannot be so arcane that no one other than those who were in your parents’ basement playing Call of Duty two summers ago are the only ones who can even begin to explain the catch. Slang is a unifier of sorts, just as colloquial language is spoken by people with shared experiences, perspectives and generally share the same community in geographic location. However, from what searches I have conducted, I have rarely come up with the understood definition of certain slang terms. Usually, when I did come across the accurate definition, it was on the next to last page, behind a bunch of foolishness and nerdy humor (on “Urban Dictionary”? Does anyone else sense a level of disconnect here?), very bad and bitter beer face-painful attempts at being “cool”, which is all “wavy” means, for those who like to psychoanalyze the origins of slang terms.

Can you imagine cats posted up on the block muttering 90% of what you read on Urban Dictionary as defined terms?

There should be a new moniker for that website, or flush the cornball garbage removed. It is painful to read like a bout of appendicitis.

Rant for the day over.

Wavy I

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11 thoughts on “Why I Hate “Urban Dictionary.”

  1. Anonymous May 1, 2015 / 1:04 PM

    When, feeling despair upon once again learning that another word/term I used innocently, turned up as something inconceivably perverse on the urban dictionary’s website, I googled something like: why I hate urban dictionary…The only result that came up, other than urban dictionary itself, was your blog about it’s hypocrisy. Thank you. I realize this was a long-ago blog, at least in time-terms regarding people “nowadays.” Wow, I feel so old. Not really. Really, I feel not so dumb. I just wanted to know if someone, anyone, any other human on the planet, hated urban dictionary as much as I do. I feel, not old, but truly sick. What the hell? I just tried to write an email to a good friend, using an old hindu term in my greeting, which would have been a great compliment to him. But! In checking myself, I looked up the word and -lo and behold!- came up with 10 urban dictionary listings that severely distorted the once beautiful and true meaning of the word. I instantly put my email into the trash, and reconsidered my choices.

    God, if there is one, I am so tired of this shit. Hoping the “god” there might be is absolutely intelligent enough to not damn me to a “hell” for using such “foul” language! POINT: I Hate Urban Dictionary and Want to Bring Them Down! Who writes for this site, anyway? Doughy kids…? I have had acute appendicitis, by the way – my appendix actually ruptured and I don’t know why I lived- and I can honestly tell you that I would do that all again, if urban dictionary did not exist. Truly. Sincerely. Without a doubt. I Hate them.

    Like

    • Mr. Wright 212 May 1, 2015 / 6:45 PM

      hahaha I try to write about things that interest me, but would not erstwhile show up in Google searches. I knew I was not alone about Urban Dictionary.

      Like

      • Tam Zilinsky June 13, 2015 / 8:51 PM

        Sir, I do believe your name is appropriate given your nature.

        Like

    • Tam Zilinsky June 13, 2015 / 8:48 PM

      Oh my god man, I have never identified with someone as much as I do you right now.

      I was so appalled by it’s horrific descriptions I tried circling back to it a couple of times and it’s the same repugnant horrificness. It has just gotten up to here, when I just googled “I hate urbandictionary” and “Why does it exist” because, what the hell is wrong with people?!?!?!?!@?%$@!$?

      Funking sickos need to take the whole thing off asap. I mean, I was so pissed off that no one seems to mind that site, like it’s okay or something, I resorted to read the wikipedia entry of it trying to search for criticisms and lawsuits over it’s horrific content and I really lost my calm when I found nothing. So I got here and I’m so glad someone knows exactly how messed up that thing is.

      THANK YOU brother. You’re a true kindred spirit and I wish you the best, truly and sincerely.

      Let’s not let those freakos ruin the term Lo and Behold, and to assist with the reaestheticizing (not a word, I know, it was the best I could think of) and healing process, I will happily refer you to the beautiful song by James Taylor of that name.

      With great accord and appreciation, Tam (I’m not Asian btw, it just sounds like it, haha)

      Like

      • Mr. Wright 212 June 13, 2015 / 9:15 PM

        WITH GREAT ACCORD AND APPRECIATION LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

        Like

      • anon February 6, 2016 / 2:15 AM

        if you ask me, i wish that urban dictionary was never created.

        Like

  2. sgrm8 November 4, 2015 / 5:33 AM

    I personally think urban dictionary is meant to be silly and everything. So don’t complain that it’s silly.
    However, what the issue is for me is that there’s often very incorrect stuff on there, and also there’s often really hurtful and rude stuff on there. I personally think urban dictionary should be taken down; it’s just all over the place. It’s stupid lol

    Like

    • Mr. Wright 212 December 11, 2015 / 7:01 PM

      Most of it is wrong, particularly the actual hood slang.

      Like

  3. Tee December 11, 2015 / 4:44 PM

    This article is life. A wonderful breath of fresh air! Google’s standards have lowered HORRIBLY! Almost EVERYTHING I attempt to Google these days, leads me to some foolishness that is “pop culture” or I’m lead to urban dictionary. I used to be able to count on Google to lead me to genuinely educational results to things I had sought to know more about. Now almost all the results are GARBAGE! Even as I type my searches, I see nothing but filth and foolishness pop up as Google tries to “finish my sentence” based on searches that seem to be popular. The fact that the stuff I see pop up is considered a “popular search”, deeply grieves me. What has happened to people that the urban dictionary has become some sort of standard to better understand things? Growing up, I don’t remember slang being such a horrible thing. Because of urban dictionary, most things have some stupid or horribly disgusting and disrespectful meaning. These days, I truly believe the world is lost. 😢

    Like

      • anon February 6, 2016 / 2:14 AM

        you’re not the only one who hates that website.

        Like

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