Forced Change is Futile: Let Them Cook!
You cannot force anyone to change, no matter what you try to do. Short of putting a gun to someone’s head (and it is then obviously not of their own recognizance), if the desire to change does not come from within, your efforts to force anyone to conform to your whims and desires will be futile.
This leads me to go straight to the bullet points, because you know bloggers love bullet points.
— If she likes to shop, LET HER.
— If she likes to watch Scandal and live vicariously through Olivia, LET HER.
— If she loves cats and 3/4 of her Facebook/Twitter posts are about cats, don’t try to change her actions, LET HER.
— If she obsesses over her hair, skin, nails and feet, LET HER. Besides, do you want her to walk around looking like Janis Joplin?
— If she wants to go out with her girls, why do you care? LET HER.
— If he loves watching sports, and you don’t try to appreciate doing the same, LET HIM.
— If he hates shopping and wants to stay home while you window-shop with no intention of buying for 3 1/2 hours, LET HIM.
— If he prefers to stay home all day, not work, play video games all day, eat up all the food that you buy, and smoke weed all day, KICK HIM OUT. (Yeah, you thought I was going to keep this down the middle, didn’t you?)
— If he wants to get away from you for a while so that he can maintain his sanity, LET HIM.
— If he’d rather stay home and destroy you while his boys go out to the bar (and later the strip club; NO DRY SNITCH), why wouldn’t you LET HIM?
Bottom line? Men: let women do what women do and not try to change them. Women: ditto.
Otherwise, what are you trying to accomplish? What? You guys want women who like to wear Mikes, play COD for 8 hours a day, smoke with you and what not? Chances are, you want a boyfriend. If you swing that way, I’ll let you cook, but don’t be trying to make women like something that they don’t tend to like (Necessary disclaimer for the inevitable exception to the rule who acts like they’re THE RULE — this ain’t about you, if you like to wear Mikes, play COD or whatever the flavor of the month may be, smoke enough sour until you look like Jarrett Jack 24/7, and are a straight female, then so be it — you probably beat 90% of the guys you play at MW, I’m sure. Same for the guys.)
And for the women, you love the “effeminate” sect of the male gender. If you (likely) can’t get along with women and want the “best of both worlds” of the effeminacy of your pinky-up buddies with an Adam’s Apple, and the estrogen-fueled desire to play dress-up and house, then guess what? If you can’t get along with a single other woman out there, your best bet is to stick with your buddy who knows how to be feminine better than you do. Otherwise, you cannot expect a man’s man to give more than a couple of flips about shopping for 3 1/2 hours, watch Lifetime movies or Scandal (unless he is waiting for 90 days to expire so that he can smash). It’s just not logical.
Let men be men and let women be women. Find those who have common interests that align with yours and don’t try to force people to conform to what you believe they should be in your eyes.
It will always fail.