Stop it 5…
There are two things that have stuck in my craw of late; most of it precipitated by the stories that I view on the Investigation Discovery network on a nightly basis, as well as the bullshit that I read, overhear or have hurled in my direction in the form of an insinuation. The first is the “Blind Spot” that all Golddiggers have (both shameless golddiggers and those who delude themselves into believing that they’re actually not), and the latter is in reference to the aforementioned bullshit, and that’s the assertion that “Because you came from a [insert race/ethnicity here] woman” manipulation/guilt trip ploy is actually worthwhile. Dating a woman that you have sexual interest and a desire to build a life and family with is not to be equated with whatever relationship you have with your mother. Those who utter this disgusting tripe are nothing more than the typical Tribeswomen who think they “own” a particular ethnicity of men.
You know, not for nothing, but being a big time lawyer and being the daughter of a big time doctor (true story in Marietta, GA for instance) doesn’t spell success nor the “way”. There’s nothing wrong with it, of course, but some people do it both consciously and innocently thinking it buys them this false sense of security — as if money and wealth insulates you from the troubles of life, or makes you more impervious to being affected by them. Others yet tend to think that it leads to “class”, as if money begets class solely because… well, it’s money. What? And women who marry guys because they’re doctors… lawyers… business moguls… who work 16 hour days, travel quite a bit, cheat (most of them), think that there aren’t certain tradeoffs that come with that. There’s nothing wrong with a faithful, consistent man who comes home every night and happens to “only” earn $65K from his job or his own business. For those who are still naive enough to think “it won’t happen to me”, as if they are the one woman who won’t get abandoned by a workaholic and philanderer continue fall for it. Now, naturally, the converse is true: it doesn’t mean that a powerful attorney will cheat, and a princess who comes from money and marries money is a golddigger and can’t have a successful marriage. The point is, many consciously (or innocently, but ignorantly) get into it thinking that this shields them from struggle or problems in life. And when they move (read: run) to the far reaching suburbs to avoid “the riff-raff”, they become so detached from reality that they think nothing can ever happen to them. The situation in Marietta that I mentioned was an inside job, and people who lived there and knew of the case all responded with a sentiment that came across as extreme surprise that something along those lines could “possibly happen”, as if these aren’t evil humans just like the “uncouth heathens” who inhabit the inner city.
Regarding the Tribal Mentality, it is beyond disgusting. I won’t even waste much more in the way of words on it, because I have already made my point. Those who utter the nonsense about “You were birthed by a (whatever the race) woman” as a means to guilt trip or manipulate desirable men are beyond insane for thinking that equating dating/marriage prospects with one’s mother is borderline imbecilic. And furthermore, when one’s mother doesn’t appear anything like the majority of the Tribal Woman’s group of women, it’s even farther off target and reveals the idiocy of the sentiment from its core.
And yes, I’m talking about the many times it has been uttered in my direction and played out this exact way.
People who shun the prospect of a good suitor (male or female) because they think they’re “not ready” (because they want to be at a certain point in their lives before doing so) often make the mistake of thinking they can run off such an admittedly good option, as if they come around more than a small handful of times in life (like Sonny said in “A Bronx Tale”), realize that when they reach this arbitrary point in life, they often become disappointed when someone doesn’t magically arise when they have their “Exhale” moment and think timing should work the way they want. You see this more and more these days. It doesn’t work that way. You think you’re ready and you’re either not, or the person you desire doesn’t show up. You think you’re not ready, or resist it, and you end up passing up on who you find yourself looking for months or even years later. This is the story of a GOOD NUMBER of people who resort to dating sites, semi-desperate actions and requests of family and friends and pleas such as those by Lolo Jones (not saying she’s actually had good options, but solely using her as an example as someone who puts it out on global TV and social media that she’s looking for someone). Ask people like that how they’ve almost inevitably had a couple — or more — very good suitors who they passed up on in favor of some misguided selfish ambition that could have at the very least been managed along with a burgeoning relationship, and if they are honest, or put on sodium pentathol in order to extract the truth, they’ll tell you that they’ve Heisman stiff armed a couple of suitors in their time. I have personally done it once. Whether it was because their were motivated for some selfish ambition, or the person(s) did not come packaged the way they would have liked, they have done it. I passed up because I knew I was moving back to New York and wanted no parts of a long distance relationship.
What’s your honest truth?