Black Non-Classy Urban Vernacular Dictionary


Black Non-Classy Urban Vernacular Dictionary

M.D. Wright

5.23.2012

 

I love Social Media. You get to read some peoples’ innermost thoughts. You see some of the worst spelling, grammar, slanguage-intended-to-be-proper-English in the HISTORY of Western Civilization. Furthermore, Black (well, Urban, in general, as it is not relegated to usage by Blacks) vernacular is something to behold and marvel. A little breakdown and “translation” follows.

 

“I’a be there in 30 minutes, I’m up the block.”

I haven’t even left home yet, but I want you to think I’m nearby, even though I know you’ll be cursing me out every minute after “30” that I haven’t arrived yet. And don’t care that you’re cursing, either.

 

“Nah, you hatin’…”

Come, let us bow and worship (fill in Person Being Stanned) together. Oh, you don’t want to? Why not? Oh, because you simply disagree with me, no other reason? WELL, YOU’RE A HATER. 

 

“I love all my haters, I got haters for days.”

I am starved for attention, the reality is, if I were hit by a the M5 bus and lay on Broadway for a week, no one would even notice that I was dead.

 

“Bitch!” (In the direction of another, usually more-attractive female)

I can’t stand the fact that you are better looking than me and don’t have to color your hair purple, wear ridiculous clothing, be loud and annoy everyone, male AND female in order to get attention from… well, no one.

 

“Bitch Ass Nigga”/”Fuck Nigga”

Bitch Ass Niggas are usually 1) alleged men who act like anything but a man and/OR 2) an alleged man who is merely spiteful or jealous of men who have more going for themselves — and this alleged man will call men who they feel insecure around “bitch ass niggas”, when he himself is a “bitch ass nigga”.

 

Fuck niggas are a conglomeration and calabash of each of these, along with stans and haters, rolled into one.

 

“I’m a Model”

I take self pictures on my blurry Metro PCS burnout phone and post them on Twitter, hoping Joe Budden(s) spots them so I can become the next Tahirty.

 

OR

 

The lazy, sloppy dude with the curtains always drawn who never takes off his sunglasses, takes half/fully naked pictures of me after he tells me he’s a “photographer” and promises me that I’ll be on XXL if I “work (him while he’s) hard”.

 

“I’m a Rapper”

I don’t work. I don’t want to work. I call people who DO work, “Squares” or “Lames”, I emulate famous rappers who are years younger than me by stealing their slang, blowing my paycheck from Modell’s trying to shop at Genesis or Apollo Signature every week and my goal is to have a Bentley so I can stroll down Lenox, 2-5th or 8th Ave (or whatever strip is in your city) and eventually park it at my “muva’s crib”… in the projects.

 

“He/She is Too Cocky! Ugh, I Hate Him/Her”

I’m insecure, I have an inferiority complex, and rather than develop the self-confidence necessary to comport myself the same way, I’d rather allege nasty things about someone else in hopes of masking my inadequacies.

 

“I Been a Fan of the Heat Since… Wait, Didn’t Patrick Ewing Used to Play For Them?”

MOST NIGGAS NOWADAYS.

 

I’m done.

 

Feel free to list the hundreds of others out there, especially REGIONAL COLLOQUIALISMS from outta town, which I love reading.

 

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