Relationship Model: When Two Mature Individuals Becoming One
* – Edited: 7.15.2014
While relationships and, by subsequent extension, marriages are not cookie-cutter — meaning no one set of rules, instruction, advice or practices can be applied to all (indeed, all relationships are like snowflakes in reality), there are some common denominators that indicate what a healthy, team-based relationship and/or marriage appears to be and what tenets can BEFALL such a relationship, as well.
What a Healthy Relationship Between Two Mature Individuals Exhibits:
— A man setting the tone, forsaking all other women and focusing his time, effort, love (and expressions therein, through a myriad of ways) and all that is within himself to the woman that he is involved with and their relationship.
— A (wise) woman, who sees that her purpose in life can/does align with his, working in tandem to both achieve her purpose and help her man/husband achieve his — and VICE VERSA. Almost like the chest-pass drill up and down a basketball court during practice.
— A man with goals and a malleable vision for how he will carry out his ultimate purpose in life.
— A woman with goals and a malleable vision for how she will carry out her ultimate purpose in life.
— Each becoming sharpened iron, constantly sharpening one another, not dulling one another down.
— Putting the needs, desires and concerns of the other ahead of their own pursuits (save for the 10% of the time when there needs to be specific focus on one’s own interests, even after becoming “one” — for the sake of the good of the relationship and/or marriage).
— Effective communication, constructive criticism — when necessary, open dialogue, honesty, trust, effective conflict resolution, admitting fault when wrong, not keeping tally of wrongdoing, overall respect for the other — while ultimately and TRULY “treating him/her as you would want to be treated on your best day”.
— A woman with no problem with “submission”; as she sees that following such an orderly and disciplined man is not only not a chore or drudgery, but makes her even better than she was alone — which was already very good, if she is wise.
— A man who is able to achieve the highest heights that he could have never managed alone.
WHAT THIS DOES NOT INVOLVE:
— Constant “negging” AND nagging.
— Resorting to games and ruses for attention (remember; you reap what you sow and what you put into relationships or marriage — or even your interactions with the opposite sex in general, is what you will get out of it).
— Putting one’s selfish wonts and desires ahead of the betterment of the other person in the relationship at all times (consciously or otherwise).
— Building a separate life from the person that is allegedly in the relationship.
— Two people operating in competition with one another (outside of that which is constructive to the relationship as a whole, as competition is not always negative in relationships).
— Bringing in worthless gender stereotypes.
— Inequalities in education, communication, maturity level, life experience. If you have very little in common and your conversation types differ so starkly that you wonder if you’re talking to an old man or a little teenybopper girl in your relationship — if you were foolish enough to go there to begin with — then reassess. Age is truly only a number, but inequalities in any or all of these areas is a recipe for certain doom. Being unequally yoked (or whatever the vernacular used, regardless of religious faith) is never good.
— Spitefulness and applying “advice” from bitter girlfriends and no-good “homeboys”; which is like adding cyanide to a bottle of vintage Louis XIII.
— Citing Steve Harvey for ANY REASON.
Thanks for reading.