OMW: The Solar System That is My Brain 24/7
My mind is almost like the Milky Way: there are stars galore (bright ideas, concepts, personal theories, ec.), comets zooming through the sphere out of nowhere (random thoughts and observations while staring into the offing; usually at work or at the university) and then the constants (Sports, Music, Women, Relationships, History, Politics, etc.) that flood my brain daily. I find it hard to channel all of my thoughts in a productive manner. I have new thoughts and concepts for column entries literally come to me in full, 2,500-word form. Sometimes I have pen and pad handy, sometimes I use my phone to store the thought until I can scribble or type it out. Then there are the times when I’m in the john, or in the shower and have an EXCELLENT column idea — only to have it slip away before I can write it down, because 15 new thoughts enter my mind.
That just happened.
I had a mind-blowing column to serve as my nightcap tonight and it left me in a matter of 10 minutes. I swear my best column ideas and concepts come to me like that — either in the john, in the shower, WHILE DRIVING or in the midst of class or work time, when I should be focused on the task at hand.
At any rate, I am always constructing plans for my life. It may appear to be a jumbled mess to those who listen to me wax ambitious, but there are tons of things I am passionate about fulfilling during my time on this earth, even though I am seeking to be an absolute expert at one to three things and just proficient and efficient at the others, while maintaining my passion for those activities.
FAILING TO PLAN IS PLANNING TO FAIL.
“Everybody gotta have a plan. If you over 25 and ain’t got a plan, I can’t (expletive) wit you, B.”
I have my ultimate goals and plans. I’ve learned over the years not to share everything because not everyone who poses as if they wish me well, truly does so. However, the overwhelming majority of the rest of the people connected to me wish me well and their actions toward me support that assertion on my part. It took me a long time to accept peoples’ benevolence toward me because I have always been starkly and fiercely self-sufficient since I was a four year old, selecting my entire (old man’s) wardrobe from dress shirt, vest, blazer, slacks, shoes and a hat to top it off.
TO GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY.
Some people think that this “Old Man” moniker is recent, and while some of my newer friends (that is, in the past five years) mostly call me that, my MOTHER called me that from toddlerhood. I literally dressed like an old man, and while I was a superior athlete (my oldest friends know I’m not telling Folk Stories here), I was weird in this regard. Given that I have always had a teaching and a Type A leader personality, forceful, with a strong aura upon entering a venue, even family friends thought I acted like an old man even when I was only seven or eight years old.
Yet I’m the biggest kid to those who actually spend time around me. There isn’t an hour that goes by that you won’t see/hear me laughing. I am an unintentional comedian and ask my younger cousins, they only see me as a larger version of themselves. Somewhere along the way I forgot I was 32 and not 10. I’ve got a little Benjamin Button in me.
Nevertheless, I’ve always been a planner. My sister and one of my closest cousins can attest to this innate gift that I’ve been blessed with. I couldn’t corral it for years, but now that I have hit my stride and entering the best years of my life, it’s all coming together. To some people, my hectic lifestyle, thought processes and “plans” look like a chaotic mess. Indeed, the superspiritual types out there would write me off as “a double-minded man who is unstable in all his ways!” when I’m a prudent, meticulous and highly-detailed planner. Always have been, always will be.
Which leads me to my point:
I WANT TO TEACH.
However, this is not relegated to the classroom in grade school, nor the college/university setting, but also financial advising, legal counsel, COACHING SPORTS (which I have done in the past) and other venues. Teaching is all-encompassing.
In sports, given that my opportunity to play was snuffed out due to a near-death illness in high school, I have to channel all the energy and massive knowledge of each of the three major sports into some sort of constructive amalgam. In football, I would love to be anything ranging from a scout (I have a very sharp eye for detail in talent), to an assistant coach (so that I can learn the more complex verbiage that comes with high-level sports, particularly in football), to a defensive coordinator in football, learning all along the way, to the NFL.
CAN YOU PICTURE ME SCREAMING AT GUYS AND DOING JUMP AND BUMPS WITH PLAYERS AFTER THEY EXECUTE A PLAY ACCORDING TO MY CALL?
You better believe it. I love the game, and like Al Davis said (using his voice), “I LOVE PLAYIZZZ, OKAY?”
I’ve coached basketball for four years, officiated the game at several different junctures over the years and of course I played organized league ball. I could go on and on, but the people who know me best know how uncannily accurate some of my “calls” and predictions are, and being able to spot Xs and Os and intricate details of a football game (particularly on defense, my forte). I would take that opportunity and be a LIFER with it. I’d never want to be a head coach, just a DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR.
I have a plan for it, just one of over a dozen life plans that I have.
I WANT GET MY PH.D. BUT ALSO SOME TERMINAL LAW DEGREE AS WELL.
Sounds superfluous, but I am fiercely enamored with the social sciences of Sociology, Psychology and Anthropology. Given that a Ph.D. is a terminal degree, getting a law degree (J.D., particularly, over the LL.M) is a waste, but I am passionate about becoming a doctor and a licensed professional to teach any of the aforementioned social sciences at the highest level. Although I was a Sociology undergrad, I did do a bit of Psychology, and of course there are areas where Sociology and Psychology intertwine, which is like a mind orgasm, honestly. I’d almost lean towards getting the Ph.D. in Psychology, given that I have the stronger base (which is Sociology, IN MY OPINION).
However, I want to form that legal firm and be a complete one-stop servicer for my clients (currently holding Real Estate, Life, Health & Accident Insurance License, working on second and third Masters degrees) by potentially becoming a professional player/entertainer agent — with a J.D. in Sports & Entertainment Law. I’m just glad to even have all these options at my disposal.
Thanks be to God and my parents, who made a plethora of sacrifices to even enable my sister and I to have any chance to succeed in life.
I LOVE TO WRITE.
That’s pretty clear. I could make a profession out of it, if I could ever construct the viable platform with which to support myself financially and not have to filter and censor my thoughts. If you’ve even been around me for an hour, you know raw (yet strangely accurate and comedic at the same time) I can be. I take pride in my ability to illustrate exactly what I see in my mind’s eye and convey it fully to an audience. Bill Simmons is a hack compared to what I could do if I were paid to sit and write about sports and pop culture all day.
I’m not even sharing what my plans are with real estate, but all I gotta say is — GET ON LINE OR GET SWERVED ON. If you ain’t been on my team before December 31, 2011, don’t come looking for handouts while I serve as a blessing to everyone who believed in me, supported me and helped me when they had no real incentive to do so.
As I said before, I had trouble accepting peoples’ benevolence for years. But then God reminded me that it was HE who was blessing me, and merely using whomever He wanted in order to bring the blessings to fruition. All the things I’ve done selflessly for others, without keeping tally, have been coming back to help me even in what appeared to be dire straights since our non-profit organization failed five years ago. I should have been homeless on several occasions, yet there was always that ram in the bush in the person of relatives or friends who stepped up. I’ve been jobless for several long stretches, but each job I’ve had since I moved back to New York has come through a friend or even a FRIEND OF A FRIEND — none of whom had no real vested interest in helping me beyond sincerely wanting to help. That kind of thing, for a gracious person like me means the world and is almost like getting the keys to the city for life with me. Those who have supported me and continue to support me now that I am gradually getting my life back (and then some) will not be forgotten.
Those who conveniently forgot me (and didn’t offer me jobs despite my overqualification in many instances) will have to pay me double for the trouble you helped continue in my life.
AND TRUST ME, I KNOW WHO’S WHO.
See how many directions my brain went in over just the past 25 minutes of writing this piece? I’m like a sane madman, but hopefully this helps you get a glimpse of why my brain is always churning and why I have to “sedate” (wink, wink) myself most nights if I’m ever going to stop thinking, churning, planning, writing and envisioning — TO GET SOME SLEEP!