I Hate One-Upsmanship & Those Who Espouse Its “Virtues”


I Hate One-Upsmanship & Those Who Espouse Its “Virtues”
M.D. Wright
11.11.2011

Edited: 4.19.2014

You know those people.

Everything you say or have done has to be met with some story (real or imagined) on their part that somehow “outdoes” yours. “Hey, I just got a raise, and they’re naming me an assistant director at the university next week.”
Oh word? My buddy has been an AVP for six years and makes $125,000, so he kind of knows what that’s like already.

“I just flew in a Saleen 7 last week and a assortment of other shit I ain’t got to talk about right now.”
Oh yeah, I got a three seater coupe at the Lamborghini dealer yesterday (Lambs don’t come in 3 seats, BTW).

“My wife is pregnant with twins, I’m so elated.”
That’s what’s up, my homegirl is having quadruplets, I can’t believe it!

“I’ve done this kind of work for years and it’s a breeze, but pretty dull. I could do it in my sleep, even though they are paying me 75K for this. I can’t complain.”
Oh well, my boy AND his wife have been in the field even longer and make twice that, so I kinda know where you’re coming from.

God I hate that nonsense. I could go on and on, but there is no soliloquy necessary to explain these type of people. They’ve always got to brag on their achievements, real or made-up, or even someone else’s achievements, even someone whose achievements do NOTHING for the person who’s bragging — in order to somehow (and I place emphasis on “somehow”, as relates to unflappable people whose confidence and personal security is not affected one iota by such dreck and worthless blither — just to one-up someone else. I’ve heard a lot of this pissing contest nonsense just in the month since I’ve been at Chase. Of course I don’t engage in it and do the half-hearted chuckle to myself when it happens after solely mentioning my background. I don’t brag. I don’t have to. Bragging, incessantly anyway — is much like guys who go all out with steroids and weight-lifting: you’re trying to compensate — overly — for an area of lack elsewhere. I’m good money, so I don’t need to brag, and don’t feel inferior or affected when I hear someone bragging or just merely mentioning their resume and achievements. Hell, I’m the first to be impressed and applaud them. But at the end of the day, those who know me best, and know my commensurate body of work to go along with what I know and WHO I’ve learned from are embarrassed and ashamed of me because my bank account and publishing don’t line up with where they (and I myself, which frustrated me to no end from 2007-late 2011) figure it should be. I DIGRESS. But to hear people bragging about getting degrees, and then have someone try to outdo them by saying they got X number of degrees from C prestigious school and making D amount of dollars in an elevator is sickening to watch. Worse yet is someone who hasn’t done SHIT try to one-up someone else by using a THIRD PARTY’S ACHIEVEMENTS as the basis for doing so.

Excuse me while I go throw up in my throat.

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