Hilarious Phenomenon: The Boomerang Effect
People are funny creatures. You can, if you are proficient with social science, predict their actions at least 75% of the time and I’ve definitely tested this over the past decade. One of the funniest things to predict and observe is how people act with regards to their comportment while single/before a relationship, while in a relationship and if/when that relationship falls apart — ALL in relation to their “friends” and others (particularly women towards one another).
Guys are of two main persuasions when it comes to this. You’ve got your simps who try to front on some macho wave around their boys and guys in general, but are selling dreams through the phone like college football coaches recruiting players with sketchy SAT/ACT scores. Guys know the drilly with them and most women know also, but will play along, because they can gain a few material things out of the process. Why not, right? He’s the one playing himself AND trying to play you at the same time.
In that same vein are the guys who forget about their boys and spend every moment of their waking existence shadowing their woman. If a woman even likes this, she’s needier than the homeless guy who’s always sitting on the scaffolding rail at 45th and 5th Avenue in the city — and manages to sit there asleep and not fall off, which requires some serious Mary Lou Retton dexterity, by the way.
You have guys, like myself, who know how to balance things. Just as the work-life-social balance requires a ton of regular maintenance, as it is not a perfect science; such is the case with the balance between work, life, FRIENDS and your relationship. They do not necessarily need to bleed into the other, although in certain situations this is okay (feel free to comment on this, if I elicit such a sentiment from you). You can show your woman romance, the time and attention that she deserves and craves, while also managing to show your boys that you haven’t forgotten about them. You don’t break out and become a complete stranger for months or even YEARS, and then pop back up out of nowhere acting as if you hung tight all along, when you just came back around because your relationship went south with the birds for the winter.
This is interesting, because it is a different dichotomy altogether. Most women do not get along with other women, so inherently, the majority of their friends ARE men to begin with. This, in and of itself, can present issues in relationships, even with the most secure man, because men know how MEN ARE. This is another topic for another day, however.
You have your women who know how to create that healthy balance, which again, is not a perfect science — just an arbitrary, subjective matter, but then a crazy thing happens in quite a number of instances:
Women don’t necessarily pull back from their male friends, but they will pull back from their female friends the instant they go from being completely single and detached to the first guy who pays them “half a mind” (to quote the old folks down south). The next thing you know, even the four or five “girls” she has barely hear from her and worse yet, she begins to shit on ALL single, detached women (never mind she may be getting cheated on galore while trying to paint a rosy picture to the world, but that’s yet another topic for another day) just because she’s not home… alone… lonely… rubbing them out two or three at a time, while projecting her anger therein by using defense mechanisms onto a guy who — God forbid — actually wants to show her the time of day in a respectful manner.
This thought process is inherently flawed from the jump, because that selfish mindset will eventually — sooner or later — doom a relationship. And worse yet, the longer it takes for the impending doom to occur, the more bitter the protagonist (the woman in the relationship, that is) will be towards all men and OTHER women when it eventually breaks up like Vanity’s face did after 1993.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THEM APPLES?