2011 NFL: What We Know After Week 9
I could sum up this week’s column with this simple truism — one that these fake philosophers who try to appear “deep” by posting quotes and unproven theories by Sociologists and Psychologists who never existed would LOVE:
“DREAMS ≠ REALITY”
But to be fair to the fans of the other 31 teams that have chemistry, even if the synergy is channeled into collectively losing every game, I’ll give my thoughts about What We Know After Week 9.
AND BEFORE I SHOW YOU MY PICKS TO CLICK, AS ALWAYS, “YEW CHEWZ YURZ ET HOME!”
— The truth about the Bolts? Somehow they have a near-top ranked defense, with half of its players on IR and an offense that can score 40 per game, but can’t get out of its own way long enough to do so.
— Tramon Williams likes to shine in the second halves of seasons.
— Matt Ryan is still ordinary.
— Joseph Addai is just never going to be healthy for more than a game or two at a time.
— DeSean Jackson is losing a million dollars (LITERALLY) off his new contract with each dropped pass, alligator-armed route and muffed punt return.
— Albert Haynesworth is an embarrassment to Western Civilization.
— … and also hurt the chances for EVERY DT looking for a big payday in 2012.
— It’s about time for Alex Smith to let his true colors shine through like 80s Kodak cameras starting Week 10.
— Fred Jackson is the only RB I’ve ever seen who looks like he runs in slow motion but somehow runs past guys — and PULLS AWAY.
— Was this “poll” about Ndamukong Suh really necessary? Half the people who are complaining are offensive linemen that have lost to the Lions and, well, offensive linemen in general.
— The Bucs are the statistical mean of the NFL — as we are officially at the halfway point in the season.
— I’m still not impressed with San Francisco.
— Nick Barnett is finally playing as he did before the injuries set in back in Green Bay.
— Shonn Greene is gaining steam at a pivotal time for the Jets, no shock they’ve won 3 straight as they’ve been pounding the rock of late.
— Brandon Jacobs silenced his critics (i.e. the New York AND outta town media that keeps fabricating stories of his discontent here in New York) for one week.
— George Wilson is a name that people need to know going forward.
— The Chiefs are emotional wrecks, as they obviously left all their fire and passion on the field at Arrowhead last Monday. Apparently, they must have had rain out in Kansas City, because it was all washed away by Sunday with that flaccid performance against the woeful Fins.
— Drew Brees gets a pass for throwing more INT than anyone in the NFL since Week 1 in 2010. Enough with the 2009 fairy tale, alright?
— I seriously wonder if Antonio Gates will ever return to his 2007 form.
— Arian Foster is soft, we learned this a long time ago, but we know that the Texans are run-centric with Andre Johnson out. Other teams know that, and the other teams know the Texans employ the zone blocking scheme and run it better than anyone — yet still don’t know how to stop the Texans.
— Jim Caldwell just blinked.
— Aaron Rodgers looks bored for 75% of most games.
— The amazing thing about the Packers’ wins every week is that a different guy makes a huge play for them and thus far it’s almost never been Kuhn, Matthews or even James Starks — guys who were the heart and soul of the ’10 Packers’ run.
— The Redskins won’t score 20 points in any game the rest of this season.
— John Beck is better than Rex Grossman, although that’s saying Syphilis is better than Herpes because you can potentially cure Syphilis.
— The Steelers have some serious firepower at WR.
— The Ravens do also, but unlike the Steelers, their QB can’t even get him the ball.
— The Eagles’ punter, Chas Henry, obviously went to the Don McNabb School of Skipped Passes — with his vintage McNabb Special: having a guy wide open and throwing the ball a good 3-5 yards short, ruining a potential big play.
— Thomas Brady is just average when his line doesn’t get away with holding 30 times a game and a real defense gets in his face.
— The Patriots’ defense has actually been better than people claim. That the Giants didn’t score 40 points, which they should have Sunday, is a testament to this.
— No word yet if Peyton Hillis plans to come back to reality and accept the fact that he is not going to have a place in this league when the Browns know he’s on HGH (thereby refusing to pay him, knowing he will get busted when the testing goes into place in the Spring) and he’s sitting out to “come down” off its effects.
— Jason Pierre-Paul is really good. When I buy a rookie’s jersey (as I did with “JPP” 51 weeks ago), best believe I am high on that guy’s chances to become a legend.
— Victor Cruz is now a go-to receiver with the savvy of a 10 year guy.
— Dez Bryant still thinks the Cowboys are “unbeatable”.
— Jason Witten might be faster than Fred Jackson.
— Jake Ballard has the best hands on the Giants after Hakeem Nicks.
— Mark Sanchez had a pretty decent game after the first quarter, but as usual, you would not know it with the outta town haters who would rather rag on his end zone INT (Eli threw one also, BTW) than what he did the rest of the game.
— I’m sick of hearing about this Chris Cook mess. So I’m SURE the good people in Minnesuetah are even more tired.
— As expected, this Julian Edelman business was swept under the rug. Funny how he did something (relatively) innocuous — ALLEGEDLY — and the commentators on the only allude to it with vagueness, but Plaxico Burress, Michael Vick, Ray Lewis, Adam Jones, ad. nau. all have their crimes/alleged crimes spread out in vivid detail on air, as if it has something to do with the Eagles getting blasted on Wide Nine technique against the run.
Oh, I digress, sorry.
— BTW, thanks for the fumble Edelman. I’m sure you would have fumbled that ass even if the chick was willing to give it up that night.
— London Fletcher.
— Julio Jones now makes Matt Ryan look like a halfway competent NFL QB.
— Cam Newton is the NFL’s ROY. Remember, the Bengals have been 1st or 2nd in defense all year. The Panthers’ D has two of its best players on IR.
— If the Chiefs ever expect to go anywhere, they need an above average QB.
— Tim Tebow did just what I expected he would. And in Week 10, he will be so atrocious that Ryan Leaf will feel vindicated.
— Earl Bennett.
— Sidney Rice, Bernard Berrian, Exhibits A and B why Brett Favre isn’t as overrated as some claim — and I am the furthest thing from a Favre Apologist.
— Michael Vick, now that the Giants wrote the book on how to stop him, is rapidly reverting back to the cornrowed Vick, and that does not bode well for Eagles fans for the next 2-3 years. Not that I’m exactly sad about that.
— Tony Romo is due for a game-sealing pick vs. BUF after managing to post huge numbers on the… well, Seabags, but hey, “NUMBIZZZ IS NUMBIZZZ, B!”
Remember I said this when he does it, though.
— Hue Jackson’s honeymoon is over. Al is in the mausoleum, but he still looms over all in Oakland. You might get “fired… (long pause) WITH CAUSE“. ‘Aks’ Lane Kiffin.
— Carson Palmer???
— Steven Jackson gets respect for never complaining in St. Louis.
— Sam Bradford BETTER NOT, as his and JaMarcus Russell’s contracts are why rookies are on a pay scale today.
— Stevie Johnson is soft. He can ball, but he’s soft. Besides, a guy who pierces the skin on his CHEEK can’t be taken seriously.
— Ike Taylor has been overrated for half a decade and somehow no one outside of NFL junkies seems to rail on him about it.
— Ryan Clark has been a head hunter since the Giants had him and he seems to get away with it.
— Ben Roethlisberger, while not elite, makes clutch plays better than almost any QB in the NFL.
— LeSean McCoy is the 2nd best RB in the NFL and 3rd place is not close until that kid gets healthy again.
— Ahmad Bradshaw wanted to play Sunday. The team wouldn’t let him. If he’s not tough as nails, WHO IS?
— Navorro Bowman. YOU GON’ LEARN SUNDAY.
— Justin Tuck is THE MAN. But then again, we knew this. He just proved it again by not taking shots at the Eagles when he had every opportunity to do so on Jim Rome is Burning.
— “Shank” has gradually reverted back to the guy that the Giants cut since Favre left MIN. He’s gotten a pass, somehow.
— The Bears are a little better than I’ve given them credit for.
— AJ Green.
— The Legend of John Skelton.
— Peyton Manning is the MVP of the NFL.
— Eli is ELITE and is currently — CURRENTLY — playing as the 2nd best QB in the NFL. Digest that, outta town slobs and inferiority complex-having Eagles fans.