2011 NFL: What We Know After Week 10


2011 NFL: What We Know After Week 10

M.D. Wright

11.15.2011

 

What We Know is about to really get live, especially with some of these storylines that are breaking of late. Here’s WHAT WE KNOW AFTER WEEK 10 IN THE 2011 NFL SEASON.

 

— It’s nice to see you again, Chris Johnson (NO SANDUSKY).

 

— DeSean Jackson needs to set his iHome, his iPhone, his Hyperbaric Chamber timer and any available alarm mechanisms at his disposal. Although he may want to sleep through a meeting again this week with Kenny Phillips lurking in Week 11.

 

— Alex Smith still ain’t shit.

 

— Bill Polian should be fired.

 

— Novorro Bowman is just as good as Pat Willis.

 

— John Skelton is better than Kevin Kolb.

 

— Darnell Dockett is THE MAN when it comes to impact plays. He’s almost one of the guys who hurt Vick Sunday.

 

— So much for Redskins fans bragging after Week 1, huh? VINTAGE SKINS SINCE WEEK 5.

 

— $59.5 million.

 

— Tony Romo had a big game in back to back weeks, which means he’s due for a 3 INT backbreaker special in Week 11.

 

— Kevin Killdrive just called an inside handoff to DJ Ware.

 

— Colt McCoy is regressing like the Dow Jones index.

 

— The Texans season is over.

 

— The Bills’ secondary, which is potentially ILLEGAL, gets no shine because they have the worst pass rush I’ve seen since the early 1990s from ANY team.

 

— Andy Dalton has ice water in his veins.

 

— David Akers is a punk (although we knew that).

 

— Victor Cruz is for all intents and purposes a rookie, and we know that he makes veteran plays and rookie plays sometimes in the SAME SERIES.

 

— The Panthers have zero leadership on defense.

 

— Tarvaris Jackson has lucked into more “wins” this season than anyone in the NFL; catching the AFC and NFC delegates for annually playing down to inferior competition.

 

— Kevin Killdrive just called an inside handoff to DJ Ware.

 

— Tony Sparano may suggest to Vontae Davis to show up at practice drunk every week at this rate.

 

— Kevin Killdrive just called a sweep for Brandon Jacobs.

 

— The Saints’ D is going to be the death of them.

 

— The same goes (potentially for the Packers, if they don’t stay focused).

 

— Nick Mangold needs a clone for both guard and tackle positions.

 

— Bill Musgrave is the only offensive coordinator who has less of a clue than Kevin Gilbride.

 

— Speaking of Gilbride, he just called yet another inside handoff to DJ Ware, all of which gained none yards.

 

— Mike Smith has his imitation of Bill Belichick down to a science.

 

— Every week it seems like a new pest sprouts up in New England when another gets shut down. Between Welker, WOODHEAD, “Benjarvus” (???) Green-Ellis, Hernandez, Gronkowski and that mother loving whiny pants Deion Branch, how many pests can one team have?

 

— Kevin Killdrive just called back to back inside handoffs from the shotgun, resulting in a loss of 2 and a 3rd and 12 for Eli.

 

— Carlos Rogers rented the Tom Emanski Defensive Drills video, it’s ENDORSED by Fred McGriff…

 

— The loss of Michael Boley >>> the loss of Frank Gore who wasn/t doing anything and wasn’t going to do anything all game.

 

— Ben Roethlisberger is a mediocre decision-maker for most of the game, but he might just be the clutchest QB in the NFL.

 

— Matthew Stafford ISN’T.

 

— Aaron Rodgers looks bored, as if he is playing Madden on Rookie level.

 

— Jared Allen might be clinically insane.

 

— DeMarcus Ware continues to make Charles Haley proud by wearing his #94 — although Ware is too nice. Haley was a maniac. NO LITERALLY. http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/08/charles-haley-would-like-you-to-watch-him-masturbate.html

 

— Aren’t Rex Grossman and John Beck the same person?

 

— Adrian Peterson is going to break a blood vessel in his eyes with the way he looks when rushing the football.

 

— Matt Forte is fool’s gold.

 

— Jay Cutler is due for a Vintage Cutlery Game.

 

— The angels of heaven are with Timoteo Tebow, apparently.

 

— Steven Jackson. The man. The myth. The legend. He never complains, just plays power football.

 

— Oldsmobile Calais (my mom had one) Campbell is an osprey. You just died of dysentary.

 

— The Cardinals’ secondary is going to be legit next year.

 

— Aren’t the Bolts due to win their final 7 games?

 

— Joseph Addai should just retire. He spends more time on the sidelines injured than playing, a la Demond Sanders.

 

— … and Antoine Winfield SMH.

 

— Cliff Avril makes plays, yet no one outside of Detroit knows him.

 

— Kevin Killdrive calls the same play back to back to Victor Cruz, resulting in an interception.

 

— Jake Ballard catches EVERYTHING. I don’t think he’s dropped more than one pass all season.

 

— The Jets need to keep playing the defense they had played previous to Sunday, it’s what’s going to allow them to make the playoffs.

 

— Ray Rice is beside himself after a 5-carry game.

 

Matt Leinart. Break out the paper bags, Texans fans.

 

— Speaking of paper bags, why do Saints fans act like they’ve always been good when they were wearing said bags just a half decade ago? 2009 was aided by the refs and the league, enough already. Don’t make me bring up that backwards pass…

 

— DeMarco Murray and John Skelton sheepishly say they’re backups, but the fans of their teams would rather not hear that bull.

 

— Just think, the following guys don’t even know how to play their position proficiently, yet: Dez Bryant, Jason Pierre-Paul, Prince Amukamara, Cameron Newton. IMAGINE WHEN IT’S ALL CLICKING FOR THEM.

 

— Side Note: Amukamara may play Sunday vs. PHI.

 

— Reggie Wayne’s last prime year goes out like this.

 

— If Alex Smith is the ultimate “Game Manager”, what do you call a RB who does the same? Nothing special, keeps the chains moving and before you know it, he has 24 rushes for 71 yards — nothing special, but your offense is moving well?

 

— That’s Cedric Benson, by the way.

 

— Ahmad Bradshaw’s status is unclear, for fantasy people.

 

— Matt Schaub, Knowshon Moreno and Leonard Hankerson’s statuses ARE clear: ALL OUT FOR SEASON.

 

— The 49ers have the best offensive line in football.

 

— The B-men are going to commit to running the ball 40-50 times a game and throwing less than 10 passes. Hey, this is the NFL, if it works, MILK IT.

 

— Somehow Andre Carter is putting up sack totals like his prime years.

 

— Hines Ward needs to just go ahead and call it  quits. Jerricho Cotchery does everything Ward once did without being a dirty bastard like Russell Jones.

 

— The Bengals are legit.

 

— The Bills are not.

 

— Nor are the Bears. They’re going to lose all of those AFC West games.

 

— Raheem Morris better consult his local realtor and brush up the ol’ resume if they don’t win at least 9 games this year.

 

— It’s Aaron Rodgers and everyone else. Distant second: Eli Manning. And I will not argue this. If you try to, your comment will be deleted.

 

— Meanwhile, Kevin Killdrive calls an inside handoff to DJ Ware, a sweep to Jacobs, both out of the shotgun and then a bunch formation pass route into the teeth of the two best defenders on the team with the best defense in the NFL.

 

END OF WEEK 10.

 

 

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