2011 NFL Week 10 Powre Rankings
This week is very interesting, but I will say that there are two teams that are playing well over their heads (and that glass slipper is about to get run — along with the Tiara and stagecoach — Brooklyn-style) and another is playing well below expectation.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, you twisted my arm, I’m going to play like an ESPN SportsCenter anchor and give away the whole story before even showing the highlights: the two teams playing well over their heads are the Texans and 49ers and the other playing below their capability is the Bolts. SO THERE. “BOOYAH!” “Winner-winner, chicken dinner!” and all that other wannabe Kenny Mayne comedian stuff that those ESPN clowns are on these days.
ON TO THE RANKINGS…
1. Green Bay Packers (8-0).
14 straight wins. They win ’em close, blowouts, low-scoring, high-scoring, you name it. The only fly in the ointment is their defense, which tends to spend too much time on the field because of the prolific nature of their offense. The good thing for them is the only real threats they have in the near future are the Lions and Giants.
2. New York Football Giants (6-2).
The Giants, who annually play up and down to their respective competition, have an excellent scenario ahead of them. They only have one shitty team remaining on their schedule and two dangerous, but shitty playing division rivals aside from the aforementioned game with the Redskins (the shitty team, for the slow ones out there). Injuries at bay, the Giants should duplicate their 6-2 first half in the second half of the season. The December 4 matchup with the Packers now looms larger than ever.
3. Baltimore Ravens (6-2).
This just in, Joe Flacco finally makes a play in crunch time.
4. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2).
OH THOSE TRICKY BENGALS!
5. San Francisco 49ers (7-1).
I swear to God this is a .500 team masquerading as a team with a near-perfect record. They don’t do anything above average except make plays at the linebacker position (although Frank Gore has been mauling teams of late). Don’t be surprised if they finish 9-7 and still win their division by 5 games.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-3).
No shame in losing to the Ravens, the Ravens are just younger and overall better on both sides of the ball (albeit not by much).
7. Houston Texans (6-3).
Check back with me at the end of the season when they’re 9-7 and Kubiak gets fired amidst tons more excuses and promises in 2012.
8. New Orleans Saints (6-3).
This team is too schizo to be trusted.
9. Detroit Lions (6-2).
Let’s see what they’ve got up their sleeves after the BYE. Hopefully, it is more than their arms.
10. New York Jets (5-3).
11. New England Patriots (5-3).
A schedule is only considered a “GAUNTLET” when you don’t have the defense to stop anyone.
12. Buffalo Bills (5-3).
They’ve lost 3 of 4, but still no losses to bad teams…
13. Chicago Bears (5-3).
Impressive win on the national stage for the Bears. Too bad Mike Martz pulls a weekly Jekyll & Hyde act from his Offensive Coordinator seat. Jay Cutler was magnificent (aside from a couple of WHAT IN GOD’S NAME throws).
14. Atlanta Falcons (5-3).
Let them play a decent team again before making much out of this record.
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-4).
They are what their record says they are.
16. Kansas City Chiefs (4-4).
17. San Diego Chargers (4-4).
They better get their act together quickly, because the only way to make the AFC playoffs at this point is to win the division; a division that they currently sit in a three-way tie…
18. Tennessee Titans (4-4).
19. Dallas Cowboys (4-4).
Beating up on the awful Seabags looks nice to their fans, but the Bills have the type of personnel and scheme offensively to make that Rob Ryan defense look REALLY BAD.
20. Denver Broncos (3-5).
I don’t know what that was I was watching at the bar Sunday. Of course this means Tebow, who I predicted would get the detractors back on his side for a week, is due for a mammoth embarrassment statistically and overall next week.
21. Oakland Raiders (4-4).
Hue Jackson’s car salesman routine has run its course. He better start coaching and winning games ASAP or heads will roll with that foolish trade for Carson Palmer.
22. Cleveland Browns (3-5).
23. Carolina Panthers (2-6).
I think they’ll win four out of their last eight, after having a BYE week to work on some things. Remember, the Panthers have been in every game until the final drive when they’ve lost. They’re not as bad as 2-6 would indicate.
24. Washington Redskins (3-5).
Two things I can almost guarantee the rest of this season with this team a) they won’t score 20 points (on offense, defensive TDs don’t count) the rest of this season and they’re not going to win more than two more games.
25. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5).
DREAM TEAM BACK.
26. Minnesota Vikings (2-6).
Young Christian Ponder (FROM?!) is the future.
27. Arizona Cardinals (2-6).
The Legend of John Skelton (FROM?!?! FORDHAM.) continues.
28. Seattle Seahawks (2-6).
The Seabags were in it for a while, but Tarvaris Jackson is really THAT BAD.
29. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6).
Surprised Del Rio hasn’t been fired yet, although Blaine Gabbert’s “win” against Baltimore is probably the only reason he hasn’t been…
30. Miami Dolphins (1-7).
(Kevin Hart Voice) “WHAT.”
31. St. Louis Rams (1-7).
Are they going to do a coin-flip at the Draft for all these 1-15 teams after the Colts beat the Rams Sunday, and they all play listlessly the rest of the season?
32. Indianapolis Colts (0-9).
Peyton Manning better give ticket holders 1/2 price back APIECE on their home game tickets for being a part of this charade being concocted between himself, Jim Irsay, Bill Polian and Mr. Never Blink.