My Take on Passive-Aggression
SIDE NOTE: I love it when people ask me “Do you ever sleep???” And they are many, and have been for years. I believe this began when I originally went back to college late in 2004 and especially when I began taking maximum credits and moved on campus when I transferred to UNCG. However, the funniest part about it, especially when it is at 2 or 3 am is, SHOULDN’T I BE ASKING YOU THE SAME THING IF YOU’RE UP ASKING ME SUCH?
At any rate, I digress, that was just something I got hit with TWICE today alone. This isn’t what this column entry is about.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
You know we are living in a Post-Pussified Age. Seemingly everyone is politically-correct and seeks to avoid offending people at every term; especially along the bases of race, gender, age, ethnic heritage and nationality. The only time “PC” goes out the window is when doughboys rail against highly-paid professional athletes (the majority of whose income is derived from the NFL divvying up TV contract money and other guaranteed concessions — NOT your drop in the bucket ticket/PSL, gate and concessions, which only account for less than 10% of what players earn — so stop trying to make yourselves out to be who “pays their salaries!”) from their couches with cheap beer in hand. Otherwise, you won’t hear peoples’ true feelings about a great number of social issues within earshot of more than one or two people… in confidence, at that — in many situations.
I knew we were heading off the cliff when school districts began taking away Dodgeball games and other “Recess-Centered” activities, because schools didn’t want poor little Johnny to cry in the corner because he wasn’t picked to play, or Susie was going to develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder because she was the Jorge Posada/Alex Rodriguez of the team who repeatedly kicked into double plays to end games. Worst yet was when these schools said that girls and boys could not play these sports together because of some warped thinking regarding gender “inequality” and the concern for injuries on the part of girls.
I played sports with girls the entire time I was growing up. Many of them are just as tough as guys, and some are more cutthroat and competitive as guys. My sister followed me everywhere I went. If I was shooting ball with other guys, she went and played. If we played stickball, she went and played. Even tackle football, she went and played. As did many other girls in my generation.
This generation is pathetic. And one of the by-products of the rampant pussification is PASSIVE AGGRESSION. You know, that person who can’t flatly come up to you and express the way that they feel (with tact) but without beating around the bush, attempting to butter you up, or smiling and using forceful speech behind a seemingly sheepish countenance and demeanor. It annoys me, because at the core, I know what such people’s intent is, which infuriates me even further. The fact that they don’t have the decency (or spine) to approach me directly about their concerns makes me think of them as less of an adult. Con Edison does not work with PA, nor does any of those 11 credit card/banks you owe monthly balances, especially if you’re 3-4 months behind. And let’s not talk about the Repo Man. They’re direct. You don’t pay, you lose. Game over.
I hate being manipulated as is. Passive aggressive behavior is just a mutated form of manipulation. A person fears that the direct, civil approach will be futile, so they have to resort to ruses and mind tricks in order to soften the blow (in case they still do not get their way) or WORSE YET attempt to patronize you in order to guilt trip you if you were still not willing to see things their way. I am not one for assuaging someone’s concerns beyond my capacity to change the circumstances. And if someone is attempting to get me to do something against my moral code or change a hardline stance (one that I have WITH REASON), I am particularly offended.
But the worst part about passive aggressive people is that they are quick to tell you what THEY detest, find offensive (which is usually everything), what they think is fair, wrong, offensive, racist, bigoted, “intolerant” (toward LGBTs, especially), but expect you to effectively cave in and placate them when it comes to everything that they love.
It is then and only then do they seem to not think that the rules do not work both ways. And that is what makes passive aggressive people the most frustrating to deal with. As long as its kosher in their eyes, everything is good, but the minute they don’t like something, they want the world to stop and change solely for them, even if no one besides them has a problem with what is being said or done. They tend to be control freaks, and do things that hold others hostage; particularly when it comes to handling responsibilities where others’ fates have been hanging in the balance. And yes, I am talking about the amount of money I was cost in real estate over the past two years with this specific line. However, it is true no matter how you slice it. Big time procrastinators, chronically late (knowingly causing issues for others in the process) and loving to start drama by making a mountain out of a molehill (saw a chick get her weave pulled out on the subway a couple of weeks back due to a PA situation where a chick was basically trying to angle her way for a seat and the other chick wouldn’t oblige — as if the chick who got the seat could read her mind — and the next thing you know, names were being called, shoving and pushing and raccoo… errr… weave flying. All the chick had to do was say “Lemme git det!” and she may or may not have gotten the seat, but at least the other chick wouldn’t have been put in a position to kick her ashes.
I won’t even get into the daily mess I put up with everywhere that I go, but I prefer the direct route, with tact. Feelings and concerns will be assuaged later. Facts must come out and come out without a filter. “Da udda person’s pride must g’down, and it must g’down HAHD” — as Al Davis would say it.
I could go on and on, but since everyone knows PA people, share some of your stories here…