Everyone Has a Story
I am always reminded that no matter what the picture that people try to exhibit publicly — whether they are transparent or front like everything is alright — everyone indeed has a story about how they arrived where you find them in life.
EVERYONE WEARS A MASK.
Some people prefer to put a mask and paint a rosy picture about every aspect of their lives. Their rationale consists of everything from “I don’t want my enemies to ever have the satisfaction of seeing me while I’m down” to “You just have to be positive at all times” to “It’s better to be above ground than the alternative”.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you become a completely different person whether you’re at home, in class, at work, with your inner circle of friends, around certain relative and around certain people in a public setting, you’re not being genuine and authentic. Do not mistake being fake (a different mask in every setting) for adjusting to your surroundings and governing yourself accordingly. How many of us know people who actually change who they are and have multiple personalities literally and clinically.
FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT.
Some people believe that truly being themselves isn’t sufficient to reach their goals in life. Firstly, what are their goals, and why are those goals? Whenever you stop and chat with people and have them give you the Cliff Notes version of their life up to that point, you can decipher what their goals are and why they have them. Usually, when people begin to fake their way through life until they reach their desired outcome, their goals are selfish and superficial. The sad part is, we have several failed attempts on the part of celebrities and others in the public eye, who reached the pinnacle of what they set out to do, only to find out that it wasn’t what they expected it to be. And then they end up depressed and/or worse.
The worst part of it all: people like this get exposed for being frauds in the course of fake smiling, back slapping, sweeping character flaws instead of dealing with them before they sink their careers, relationships and marriages. You see people aspiring to be doctors solely because of their earning power. You see people desirous of being in positions of leadership or doing their own thing with a business or organization, because they cannot submit to any authority and are so headstrong and in-compassionate that they make scathing remarks to people and lack the empathy necessary to successfully work in a position of leadership, power or maintaining their own business/organization.
Compassion, empathy and/or emotional intelligence are all required in order to occupy those roles. If you are a person who lacks those traits, you cannot fake it for long, before you are exposed and you will still end up having to deal with it.
WHAT’S YOUR STORY?
People have a million ways of arriving at the college/university, job, or the point in life in general that you find them. Some were genuine and transparent about their strengths and flaws, some faked it the entire way. Others spend their entire adult lives attempting to expose things about people that aren’t even true — failing to fulfill their own purpose in the process. The ironic thing is, the people who profess to be the “realest” are some of the biggest frauds going. The people who lack compassion and empathy tend to alienate everyone who they commiserate with, attempting to make others dislike people that they themselves don’t like — only to get exposed as being a douche/bitch — and even turning on the few people who they had yet to turn on. It never fails; until the person in question changes their ways and examines themselves.
The people who are genuine and transparent about their journey through life, not worried about sharing their peaks and valleys, successes and failures and these people are the best potential leaders of people and organizations. They have a healthy emotional intelligence level. There are people who have no problem admitting when they are wrong, and consequently, make better leaders in the 21st Century. Emotional intelligence and understanding your staff, your surroundings, understanding what others in your inner circle and other groups are going through — are all hallmarks of a healthy leader.
The thing about people who never admit when they’re wrong, lack compassion, spend their lives trying to play the faces of others, playing referee where they are always on the hunt for who’s fake (while not realizing that they themselves are some of the biggest frauds going) is that they will blame others and go out of their way to be “private” about their lives (which is a euphemism for someone who has something to hide, and usually going to be forced to change negative character traits about themselves that they are aware of, but refuse to change). Ultimately, the transparent people know their story and can share it willfully, while the fakes, braggarts, self-focused and overall douchebags and bitches can never do so, since they are never honest with themselves long enough to be able to tell their story if their lives depended on it.
SOMETHING TO CONSIDER FOR OUR ASPIRING LEADERS IN 2011 AND BEYOND…