Black Men Ain’t $#!+ I’m Getting With White Guys From Now On
Black Men Ain’t $#!+? You know what, generally-speaking, I can’t and won’t argue with women who say this. And without going into the myriad of reasons why so many aren’t “$#!+” (as they are well-versed and rehashed time and time again), I can’t really find too much fault in this premise.
But I do find a smidgeon of fault with it, particularly with those whose selection criteria is as bad as Matt Millen’s NFL drafting record with the Detroit Lions. Unlike most women, who automatically shoot back the few times men mention factual traits that women display — with an immediate retort along the lines of “well, men do it, too!” without even considering the validity and veracity of what was said; I don’t do it. I listen and hear out the complainant and most of what I hear from women (not just Black; and the reason I’m drawing this distinction will become clearer as this column entry goes along) has factual basis.
“Black men are lazy.”
Some are. Others are browbeaten by all of the intentional obstacles set before them by the establishment, which only seeks to divide-and-conquer along every line of demarcation possible — and render the oppressed as perpetually oppressed — and, after years of simply trying to survive (not striving for greater than breaking even) they give up. Many are resilient and hardworking, but they are regarded as outliers and virtually overlooked; when they are actually the majority.
The most glaring of minorities can make everyone and everything that is part of the same group appear to be homogenous in the eyes of a third party.
“Black men have self-hate issues.”
Again, a number of Black men do, but not as many as (mostly bitter/scorned) women (mostly Black) claim. There are scars that have never healed from the inception of the Atlantic Slave Trade (over 500 years ago) until today. Surely, we cannot expect 500 years of damage to be undone because of the passage of Civil Right Acts merely fifty years ago (however reluctantly they themselves were passed), and definitely not because a (half) Black man is the President of the United States, can we?
However, the converse retort to this assertion is a bit more in line with what the situation actually consists of as we speak in 2011: A lot of young Black men are influenced by the images and portrayals of Black men through various mediums: TV, Music/Music Videos, Movies and Professional Sports. Impressionable minds, which are prevalent in every racial/ethnic group, are going to gravitate towards that which appeals to their eyes and mindsets, which are not steeped in profundity. The reality is, for every professional athlete like Albert Haynesworth, who notoriously stated earlier in 2011 “I didn’t do anything to her, besides, I don’t even like Black women”, and other Black men who go out of their way to avoid dating Black women (choice or otherwise, when it is intentionally done and stated, there is a problem), for every rapper who portrays such in their videos (albeit demanded by music industry label heads — to continue to propagate the imagery, which is so rooted in Psychology that it runs laps around 96% of peoples’ understanding if the effects of the social science in media and marketing) and for every guy who just happens to date/marry a woman who isn’t Black, there are several others who have a healthy love for themselves, their race (you know I hate that term) and ethnicity/nationality.
They say a woman scorned can devour an entire nation; surely a scorned woman — even one who is scorned only once by a man, can lead a nation to believe an overstated myth to be actual truth.
The reality is, we shouldn’t be concerned with who someone dates or even why they do, even if they state their rationale and the stated rationale is as flimsy as a Mitt Romney debate speech. Insecure people bother themselves with such trivialities, and as Psychology and Sociology would probably suggest, a person who is overly concerned with this particular matter is just as guilty (if not more so) of the same accusation that they hurl toward the person they are focused upon.
“Black men are never faithful.”
Sure, many aren’t. But as most women worldwide can tell you, that’s been a global pandemic since earliest records were kept.
“Black men are awful fathers.”
For every Travis Henry, Shawn Kemp and Antonio Cromartie (who struggles to remember the names/ages of all of his reported eight children by seven different women — although the fact he has children in that manner doesn’t mean he isn’t a good father), there are Black men such as my father and many, many others who I know personally, who actually are great fathers. As stated before, the bad seeds tend to ruin a healthy crop. Also, bad seeds are much more likely to stand out to the glancing eye than healthy seeds, because healthy seeds look the way you expect for them to. A man who handles his responsibilities as a father is virtually invisible (until he f—s up once). This goes for men universally, as there is a staged, strategical effort to assail manhood as we have long known it.
THE LIST GOES ON.
It only takes a woman being hurt ONCE for her to rail against all manhood. Likewise, there are a lot of men who will do it also, particularly if it is the one time he chooses to open his heart and make himself vulnerable to a woman. I’ve seen guys go from Stand-Up, Top Shelf guys to complete assholes in a matter of months.
AND REMAIN THAT WAY FOR YEARS…
… all because ONE WOMAN hurt him.
Amazing what vulnerability does to a person. However, it is required to truly love and be loved. Choose accordingly.
Which brings me to my final point:
WHERE IS THE ONUS ON THE WOMAN WHO EXPRESSES THIS SENTIMENT?
I hear women of all races say it. Black women, because they’ve had to deal with a lot more (and more intimately) for much longer from Black men than any other women have. I’ve heard it from White women who have gotten with famous Black men or a hood look-alike with drug money, after she (intentionally, in some cases) got knocked up by him willfully several times — and he left her with the children and no 50%, since he’s not Tiger Woods, but Rollo Venable.
I hear groups of women from Hispanic backgrounds, many of whom have Black blood, relatives who are as dark or darker than their American Black cousins who got off the ships later, and THEMSELVES are brown/dark brown like most Black men and women (yet will fight you with razor blade under tongue if you assert as much) say the same thing about Black men who pass them on the street (in Spanish).
And yes, I’ve heard this said generally many a time, and heard it specifically as well. Guess who they chose?
THE GUY WITH THE RIMS, FLASHY JEWELRY, SKETCHY PERSONALITY, KNOWN DRUG DEALER, KNOWN SEED-SPREADER — ALL BEFORE SHE GOT WITH HIM.
Women like to have it both ways; they like to say they’re smarter than men (on who’s scale? If we’re using the same slanted measurement for “smarts” that college entrance exams think can equate someone’s acumen with test scores, then obviously it is not objective), and have “Women’s Intuition” in one breath, but in the next, claim they can’t tell who’s genuine and who’s fake.
In reality, an uninvolved woman, if she’s confident in herself and isn’t so desperate for attention and affection/”relationship” from a man CAN EASILY spot a stand-up man apart from the aforementioned types. EASILY. And men know each other as well. Women can spot the slightest blemish in another woman, so we know once the panties drop, the logic, “intuition” and rational thinking goes also.
I refuse to accept the cop-out that follows, “You just can’t tell who’s good and who isn’t anymore”.
Yes, you can. Men know good women when they see/meet them. Aside from a few outliers (not sure what you call the female version of a “Svengali”.. Madame Yes? JEZEBEL?) men know who’s real and who’s fake, who’s genuine and who’s a poser, who’s marriage-material and should be treated with that respect, and who’s a slag. When you have an honest man who will admit that he intentionally passed on a host of good women because he just wanted to hop from bed to bed like frogs on lily pads, you are given insight into this fact.
VERY RARELY will you hear women admit that they spent years intentionally giving known good men an Emmitt Smith-level Heisman stiff-arm, all in favor of guys that they were equally knowledgeable about (as relates to the flaws stated in the body of the column) going in. VERY RARELY. The only ones who do are being honest with themselves about their past motives, want healing and closure and want to move on to a fulfilling life. Sadly, a good number of them have been abused (verbally, emotionally and physically) for so long, and no longer have their youthful looks, figures and often have a number of children that are not appeasing to many (not all) men, that it makes it difficult for them in the dating arena from that point forward. NOT ALL women who are honest in this way come with this level of baggage, but many do — and that’s the few who actually admit that they made bad choices.
The bottom line is, women know who’s good money and who “ain’t shit”.
But if you spend $150 a ticket to go and cream your panties and throw them (and yourself backstage or at the hotel) at a clown like this, then you have no right to complain about the rest of the Black male populace, who, contrary to popular belief (and excluding the recidivist, gay/DL, etc. population) are actually halfway decent to good or even excellent men.
And if you are wondering who the “clown like this” is, who I am referring to, I offer you State’s Evidence, Exhibits A-D before we move to Part 27:
Like a dueler in a high noon standoff and his gun selection, CHOOSE ACCORDINGLY FROM NOW ON.