Avant Garde? or TRYING TOO HARD?


Avant Garde? or TRYING TOO HARD?

M.D. Wright

7.17.2011

 

Seriously.

 

What are these young cats doing?

 

Most of what you saw on runways was more or less art, or creation pieces, not intended to be worn publicly. That was the unwritten rule. And to be sure, these cats nowadays aren’t wearing runway-type gear. They’re just TRYING TOO HARD to be “different” (while ironically looking just like the millions of other losers and hipsters doing the same thing at a campus or community food pantry near you).

 

FAIL #1: HARRY CARAY GLASSES WITH NO LENS/NOR PRESCRIPTION.

 

 

Why.

 

You look stupid. You’re not “cool” or “wavy” or anything other than a noodle-bodied fool with tight pants who is desperate for attention. You actually love it when people point and laugh at you. It makes your pithy existence seem worthwhile.

 

It’s not.

 

FAIL #2: SCARVES IN 90 DEGREE HEAT IN NEW YORK CITY (WHICH IS MORE LIKE 100 DEGREES, HONESTLY).

 

 

What is the point? You’re begging for heat rash. You look stupid. I sweat like a yak with a Rugby polo and Rugby cargos on. And that’s just walking to the subway. So I know you’ve got to be YEASTY in those tight jeans that you had to flip and squirm on the bed like a fish out of water for more than 45 seconds — just to squeeze into them spandex jeans, along with your flannel shirts and three layers, a skully AND a scarf in this kind of heat. I’d stroll through the city naked if I could, in this heat. And here you clowns are looking like the day after Christmas in 2010.

 

I bet your B.O. rivals that of the halal guys up and down 6th Avenue. 6:5 odds it does.

 

FAIL #3: CHICKS SAGGING.

 

 

If you’re a perv, you probably don’t mind seeing a chick’s ass crack. Whatever floats your boat, B. But a chick with NO ass, a muffin top, sagging her already-tight jeans below her waist like “Weezy” AND her granny panties (if she’s wearing any at all) is just not the wave.

 

I don’t complain at all if a chick has a nice body, abs, actually has an ass and is wearing a g-string or thong underneath that. ALL BETS ARE OFF THEN.

 

Feel me on this.

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