Open Doors?


Open Doors?

M.D. Wright

7.16.2011

 

I was taught the essence of networking by my parents from a young age, and then later by mentors as I began my matriculation through high school and prepared for college. Early on, I knew that no one was created to operate as an “island” or a loner. No one “pulls themselves up by the bootstraps” in this life. You need help, an opportunity, an open door, someone to believe in you and you need favor from God (whether you attribute it as such or not), no matter how much you  may convince yourself that you did it all.

 

Over the years, networking saved me a lot of time and legwork, as I sought to co-found a Non-Profit Organization, partnering with another NPO whose Executive Director mentored us and dropped jewels of direction in the industry, as we were new to that particular form of business.

 

Networking in the body of Christ for years also helped lay a foundation for how I do things even today. Whilst over the Singles Ministry, I expanded things beyond the veritable Meat Market that many ministries have become, by reaching out to other congregations and fellowshipping with them. This involved trips to other churches and finding ways to serve with them.

 

Fast forward a few years and now things seemed to have shifted.

 

BACKWARD.

 

Yes, a regression. Most everyone seems to be all about themselves these days. Not everyone, because there are still some people who understand the essence of this life. But even in the church, the concept of networking, fellowshipping (effectively) and even the true understanding of what relationships (of all sorts) and marriage is supposed to reflect.

 

Nevertheless, in my personal life, despite all my flaws and foibles, I have learned a great deal by listening to mentors and others with vast life experience and wisdom. It has put me on a good track, even as I am in the worst period of my life.

 

Despite all this, I am at times angry with God. After a year or two, I could understand “Okay, this is a wilderness, there is an ultimate purpose to having me apart from everyone, unable to support myself, unable to find employment and having had to sell, give away or flat out LOSE everything I owned.”AND I DO MEAN EVERYTHING — LITERALLY.

 

But after five years and very, very few open doors, still no full-time job since August 12, 2005 and having to lean heavily on my parents, and bum off friends is not only beyond humbling (that was done after 2006/2007 when I had to sell everything and watch my credit score plummet like the Stock Market did 12 months afterward).

 

Now it is beyond ridiculous, because it is not as if I didn’t have 10 years of professional experience under my belt upon completion of my BA in May 2009. Now, six weeks away from completing an MS degree, I am frustrated beyond any other point. Despite not ever having much money at UNCG and since I moved back to New York, NEVER have I had my resources completely dry up. I may not have had my own place, a car or the type of gear that I wanted, may not have been able to go to ball games (regularly, like I used to) or concerts, or travel extensively (which I did for the first 25 years of my life), but NEVER did I face the prospect of literally starving to death. Even in the worst of times from the middle of 2006 onward, I ALWAYS ate. Wasn’t really healthy food, because healthier food costs more per meal and more to stock up on to cook regularly. Those are the facts.

 

So my anger is understandable (at least by those who have been there), because the Bible DOES say that God will not forsake His children nor have them begging for bread.

 

WHY CAN’T I EVEN GET THE MOST BASIC OF JOB AS BADLY AS I WANT TO WORK?

 

Not even running around demanding the six figure salary that I can command with my composite body of work academically and professionally — nor turning down jobs that wouldn’t even pay $15 hourly. NO OFFERS AT ALL.

 

Everyone wants me to work for free, volunteer, work off commission.

 

THAT IS LUDICROUS THINKING — I don’t care HOW MUCH of a resume builder “volunteering” can be, it doesn’t pay the bills and doesn’t pay the rent.

 

These types of things (commission sales, volunteering, working for free, interning, etc.) is all fine when you live with your parents (and only if you’re a youngin, not someone who is in their 30s) or have a nice cushion with several 10 stacks where you don’t have to be concerned about rent, car payments, car fare, insurance, etc. etc. etc.

 

MUCH LESS HOW YOU WILL EAT THE NEXT DAY.

 

I’M DONE. And no, I do not care who knows my business. If you keep your anger and pain inside, they’ll eat you alive and you’re no better off for doing so.

 

Writing is cathartic for me.

 

So there you have it.

 

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