How Do You Want It?
We’ve heard singers and rappers from Soul II Soul to 2Pac ask this question (rhetorically, I suppose) in songs over the years, but not only do most people not have an answer to this question, they don’t even know WHAT they want to begin with.
I have always said (at least in my adulthood), that the longer your “list” of qualities in a potential mate is, the more unsure you truly are of what you really want. The more secure and sure of one’s self a person is, the more that list is supposed to shrink. They’re like divergent paths. One begets the other. As one (wisdom, selflessness) increases, the other should decrease (demands masked as “quality traits” and “must haves”/”dealbreakers”).
Who do you know, that when you ask them what they desire in a compatible mate rolls out fewer than 10 “qualities”? And of those qualities, if 4-5 of them are not the basic tenets of a healthy relationship — as I pointed out in my column a few days ago: https://mrwright212.wordpress.com/2011/07/13/whens-the-right-time-to-get-married/ — then they still ain’t talking about nothing.
Yes, my English was poor there. SUE ME.
I love listening to people say “I’m more spiritual than religious”, but want someone who, effectively, possesses the virtues that come from abiding by a specific faith and sticking with it.
I also love to hear people say “I don’t care for marriage, I’d rather just have a special companion for life.”
Anyway, that works in Hollywood, but with the way the law is, you’re still going to get the short end of the stick should most anything pop off in those “Common Law” situations, so let’s not be naive here.
Not everyone should get married. But GOODNESS GRACIOUS SAKES ALIVE, if the faith you abide by — supposedly — says that fornication is a sin, then WHAT IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU DOING TALKING ABOUT YOU DON’T WANNA MARRY?
Man, WHAT??? You just wanna have a live-in booty call?
Man, go have a lobotomy and save us all the impending headaches that come with your horror stories when you’re 50 and bitter.