Why I Pity Pretty Women
No, not you broken-looking “Barbie”/Nicki Minaj wannabes who have one complexion on your neck and one about 10 shades lighter on your face. And not those of you who have had a bunch of dudes tell you that you’re all this and that so they could get in them draws, when you really look like Sam Cassell’s fraternal twin.
Nevertheless, after having a very extensive conversation earlier today with young Sharon Thomas regarding this topic, I decided I should write about it and see what kind of input others would offer as well.
When I was coming of age, and into my early 20’s, I relentlessly chased pretty women. It seemed sensible enough, even if you heard all the axioms and clichés about what “true beauty” consisted of while growing up. Hey, I even believed it to be true, being only above-average looking myself. I’ve had my fair share of taunts and what have you over the years — albeit not for the reasons you may immediately surmised — more because I was rather thin back at one point; not because I am dark-skinned (although I am not CAST IRON dark, to begin with).
Before I even get a comment about it, I am not advocating “singling out” women of a particular race, ethnicity, complexion, hair texture (separate column coming about that) nor am I suggesting that any of a particular group are the ‘standard of beauty’. I know people still think that just because a guy likes a particular type of woman, that if the woman alleging the “color-struck”/”self-hating” double whammy combo ISN’T what he likes, she’s usually just bitter and going to rail against all men who may feel the same. I’m debunking that nonsense RIGHT NOW.
Nevertheless, I pity pretty women sometimes. I really do.
— Other women are jealous of you and the attention you receive.
— Other women are afraid to have their man around you.
— Dudes are (mostly, not all of us) intimidated to make a genuine move toward you.
— Dudes mostly think you’ve “GOT” to be taken, and much like women do with a good man who isn’t “taken”, they will try to construct scenarios where they convince themselves that something MUST be wrong with you, subsequently — real or imagined.
— Dudes are going to be insecure if they try to date you, constantly looking over their shoulders, knowing how most men are and how sneaky and covert most women are when they cheat.
I wouldn’t want that to be my reality at all.
Oh, other women think it’s great to be in your shoes, wondering what it must be like to have endless attention, men buying you things, being the envy of all women, etc. etc. etc. But they don’t see the insecurities (yes, pretty women have them just like everyone else) that you have, and the cumulative effect of all the backlash you receive from the jealous ones. Nor do they see and hear the stigma that many men will affix to you, because they think you’re automatically screwing any guy who they see you with. Make that 100 times worse when they’re your man.
I could go on and on, but as I promised for 2011, I said my columns would be more interactive. So I want to hear from you and your thoughts regarding this issue, whether personal or observed.