You Are A Man: KNOW YOUR ROLE And Act Like One
* – Edited 8.7,2013
You might allege that I come down too hard on women sometimes. In all actuality, I do not. I spent a good deal of 2010 calling them out, for sure, because most men are not going to spend time articulating (much less caring to do so, even if they are capable therein) those things, but I was notorious for “spilling Man Secrets” for years before that, or putting men out in general. And with this particular column, I am definitely going to light into them quite a bit.
You know what? We can go on and on about the foibles of the Black man and the abdication of roles on his part, or the structural racism, discrimination in the job market and the mostly negative effects that feminism has had upon American society as a whole, but regardless of how you perceive the issue, there is a real problem with men in this day in time.
And it has only gotten worse since 1995.
At that particular time, college enrollees amongst men of all races and nationalities were at an all-time high. Sure, the incarcerated population has steadily (amid sharp increases here and there) increased over the past 40 years, as laws that were created with the intent to further oppress the already-oppressed were enacted at alarming rates. But look at what has happened on the home front in that same 40 year span since Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.‘s assassination:
1. Rampant escalation of the number of effeminate and homosexual men.
2. Uproarious numbers of men fathering children and leaving women as single mothers.
3. HIV/AIDS and STD rates in general are on their way to wiping out “Minority” populations in the US, Caribbean and Africa.
4. Willful ignorance is at an all-time high.
And on and on and on.
I will be the first to admit, that as an impressionable (although not HIGHLY, because my old man’s influence always did — and now that I am an adult, more than ever, supersedes that of the streets) teenager, I got caught up in the trends. I was flashy, bought into tons of depreciating liabilities with my money — Air Jordans, NBA/NFL jerseys, cars, etc. and even got caught up in this nonsense in the mid-1990s:
We have seen a regression in the past two decades amongst men in general, but heavily on the Black and Latino side. Guys forgo an education, pass up on the unprecedented amount of information we have at our respective disposals and CHOOSE to stand on the corner, sell drugs, bang the same hoodrats that our boys and other cats from around the way are going in on (RAW) and try so hard to emulate the image and lyrics of the songs by rappers who aren’t even living what they’re talking about 90% of the time. What sense does this make?
I have almost completely given up on this current generation and don’t hold much hope for the future generation, unless the upstanding men of my generation and some of the younger ones in the generation previous to mine manage to carve out enough of a strong influence and set a strong foundation for them.
I know the laws have become so slanted in favor of all things women in the past 20 years, but for crying out loud, what does being a man mean, again? Who’s really living that?
As a brother, you are to protect your sister and be the first and primary example for her in her future dealings with men. If you set an improper example, what is she to think about boys and men when she encounters them into her teens and adulthood?
As a son, you are to observe your mother (if she be of good character) and see what a worthwhile woman is about in her affairs. If you come from a home where both your parents provided a strong, positive example for you as a man (father) and what to do with women (mother) and you’re doing everything possible to undo what foundation was set for you, you are worse than someone who was a ward of the state and had 17 foster homes before age 13. And even some of those boys grow up to be better men than some of you. Yes, I’m talking to YOU, because I know quite a few of these guys personally.
As a man, you carry on the legacy that your father created. Don’t give me that “homosexuality is genetic” BS. Gird up your loins and control your lusts. Identify what they truly are, first of all, but all this scientific blameshifting is just that — BLAMESHIFTING and you not giving account for your actions and desires. If you want to be that way, fine, I have no power nor desire to condemn anyone, and I do not unrighteously judge. But if you grew up in a household where your father and mother were heavily influential in your rearing and your father is not gay or down-low, what in God‘s name are you doing? Knock it off.
As a husband, your relationship with women is to MIRROR that of God and His church. Even if you do not believe in God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit or the Church (body of Christ), everyone’s “religion” for the most part calls for a family structure to a degree. What is with all the abandoned families?
What is with the Heisman stiff-arm treatment given to education, learning trying to embetter one’s self in favor of being as ignorant as possible? There was a time where guys truly felt they had no other means to support themselves and their families (whether as a son or as a father/boyfriend/husband) but to join a gang growing up, sell drugs, hustle or mortgage their future by going all out to try to enter the world of professional sports.
As late as my parents’ generation, there were not many opportunities afforded to them. My mother wanted to go to the Air Force, but the doors were not nearly as open in the early 1970s as they are now to women. My father could have excelled in sports if he had lived in New York longer in his youth or been around people who were about anything (almost all of his childhood friends have drank themselves to death, been in and out of prison, are worthless or are dead). A lot of those guys participated in the things they did because they felt there was no other way.
WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE IN 2011?
Attend to your sisters. Your mothers. Your girlfriends. Your wives.
And most importantly, YOUR SEED. For the love of God, and for the sake of the entire upcoming generation of society, PLEASE DO SO.