Never Leave Your Job Before Landing Another?
That’s what you’re always told when you’re coming of age in corporate America, right? Employers like to see people who are gainfully employed and have tangible results proven from concurrent employment, rather than someone who is coming in cold off the streets with no current demonstrated work ethic. It makes sense, does it not? You can readily call for references and see what that person is doing at the moment and simultaneously check and see if what someone says on their resume is legitimate.
That brings me to an interesting parallel that is relevant to this same train of thinking. Particularly in the past 10-15 years.
If you shouldn’t leave your job without having another lined up, should you do the same thing when you’re involved with someone while dating them (or worse yet, married to them ha)?
For as long as we can all recall in recorded history, the typical scenario is a 49 year old man with a mid-life crisis and unwillingness to control his lusts and keep it in his pants, sees some young, soft, scrumptious 23 year old who reminds him of what his wife USED to look like — he wants to feel young and wanted for his life experience (yeah right), wisdom (yeah right), sexual prowess (maybe) and money (ESOOOOOOO!!!)
Okay, never have condoned it. I wasn’t raised that way. Monogamy has been ingrained in my brain. Monogamy is not natural — and I must make my stance on that openly stated right here — but when you grow up in an environment that fosters and encourages it, then grow up pounding the Bible by reading it front to back at least a dozen times, teaching it, serving in ministry and what have you, then for all intents and purposes, it IS natural to you.
From an emotional standpoint, particularly from someone who has reached Self-Actualization and has a high level of Emotional Intelligence (not to mention you reap what you SOW), you are not going to intentionally or otherwise cheat on your wife or girlfriend, knowing what damage it will eventually cause. Even if she never finds out (women aren’t AS SMART as they think they are, especially if a guy is determined to hide something and he’s smart about it), if you have a conscience that is intact and not seared, you’re still going to feel the same uneasiness that your wife or girlfriend would feel if she DID find out.
So speaking from first-hand observation and personal experience on three occasions, I am naturally equipped to speak about this subject matter from a man’s standpoint.
You know how it goes, she picks petty fights, arguments, concocts falsities just to either get you to say something you’ll regret in the midst of being offended or cause you to turn and leave, absolving her (at least in her mind and thinking) of any guilt for what it is she is doing to begin with. You know, how the old people used to call it?
“Beatin’ someone else’s time”
Yes, women do it. And just as much as men do. Wake up people. And knock it off those who try to make all women out to be Martyrs for Monogamy to be pitied by all. Lust knows no gender, so save the gender-specific knocks. Everyone, the longer you live, will be hurt by someone in which they place a modicum of trust and then be betrayed emotionally as a result. It happens. No need to carry those hidden grudges that manifest in you constantly railing against the opposite sex at every opportunity. It makes you look bad.
And in the spirit of this column, in keeping with the theme, “IT IS CONSIDERED BAD FORM TO DISPARAGE YOUR CURRENT/FORMER EMPLOYER TO A NEW EMPLOYER”.
But it is always interesting to see how it works out. I’ve sat back and watched peoples’ relationships take a sharp nosedive like Paul Williams versus Sergio Martinez. It’s not a pretty sight. I’ve seen a ton of guys cheat on their wives and girlfriends and their significant others never found out, never cared to find out or knew and didn’t care, or were doing just as much dirt themselves.
What rarely gets spoken of is how an increasing number of women resort to sabotaging a healthy relationship, or intentionally attempting to run away a good man that they currently possess, in order to get with the Dick of the Month (pun intended, with respect to the initial spirit of the column). I’ve had it done to me. And without getting into graphic detail about what happens in the bedroom, I’ll leave it there — but just like some women think their “Pussy is Golden”, no matter how well you blow her back out, Dick Her Down and Randall Cunnilingus her, she’ll still leave if she really wants to.
BECAUSE LUST KNOWS NO GENDER.
That’s why I love listening to women rail against men for whatever reason. You rarely hear guys unprovoked or without good reason railing against women whenever the slightest opportunity presents itself.
We’ve all had the discussion a million times, so there’s no need to belabor the point. But you know a lot of them are bitter because they have made bad decisions in the men they allowed to enter their hearts or their birthing canal. Too bad. Worse yet are the ones who are so insecure with their looks that they get tight because a guy they are interested in doesn’t like them and think that it must be a race-specific, phenotype-specific, complexion-specific “issue” on that man’s part. HA. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Anyway, when you break down the chronology of it all, it is too coincidental to be “happenstance”. One day, out of the blue, she strikes up a petty argument about absolutely nothing, makes a mountain out of a molehill when you’ve genuinely done nothing to warrant it, and within a bat of an eyelash, she is trying to push you out of her life, saying she doesn’t want to speak to you ever again.
Then a month later, she’s showing up with a new dude? You know good and “doggone” well she didn’t just meet him, unless you’ve got your head so far up your ass that you’re bumping heads with Kevin Gilbride up in there. So when you put two and two together, you realize she’s been boppin’ him for a minute and in order to assuage her own guilt (somehow), she did whatever it took to cause you to run off or make you feel guilty enough for doing absolutely nothing wrong, that you end up parting ways.
And she gets what she wants.