Ms. Independent: Oh How I DON’T Pity Thee!
Let us count the ways…
This isn’t even about race anymore, because I’d date and marry a woman from any ethnic/racial background; provided we share the same faith and fundamental values. The other things don’t matter much — especially once you are 30+ and have realized how petty the things are that your peers fixate upon. I feel the need to say that, because I know the inevitable “Well, not ME, —–> I <—— don't do that, nor does any of my friends, SOOOOOOOO" is going to come for sure.
I don't know where to begin with this. The generation before mine has failed us. They expended so much time and effort trying to "give us what they didn't have" that they blindly contributed to the pussification of America, the dissolution of unity within ethnic groups, and a heightened battle of the sexes that should not exist. Indeed, the main reason that so-called "battle" exists is because of blurred lines with regards to roles in relationships or even as a single individual. You have people who are confused about their purpose, you have single mothers forgetting when to turn off the "Double Duty" act when dating, you have transgender people who were born one gender and are acting about as another, and you have marriages where roles have been completely reversed and a mass upheaval of everything that was traditional (and despite Feminist retorts, was MOSTLY FOR THE BETTER — not always, but MOSTLY).
The generation of men before us failed, because they lost their backbone and balls in the name of kissing women's asses; abdicating their God-given role as men just for breasts and asses. So many men have been mentally and emotionally castrated by this neo-Feminist/ultra-liberal agenda that encompasses every aspect of our lives.
The generation of women before us failed also, because they contributed to said castration of this generation (and dear GOD the current generation which is utterly confused beyond salvation) as well as giving unrealistic expectations to their daughters and nieces.
Again, people think that may just be a thing occurs along racial lines, but I have seen it in every imaginable dynamic. Not even making this up.
So let's look at a practical example — something that 90% of my readers can relate to or have observed themselves:
Yes, good ol' college. And honestly, let's take it a little further back to high school. We've all seen it — and some will dismiss it and say it is the exception and not the rule (right about now, I can see some guys' hands going up and some of the guilty female parties doing like Mike Tyson before going on his "I want his heart, I wanna eat his children, Praise be to Al-LAH!" speech; ready to jump at the bit before Jim Gray could greet him). But think about it, even guys who played sports, several of them, were fairly popular/visible, but were into his books and trying to prepare for a future that collegiate and professional sports may not ever provide for him. Besides, out of a graduating class, your odds of making it collegiately are over 100,000:1, and they go up 15 times for professional sports.
He's smart, rather athletic, but not the Star Quarterback or blue chip Shooting Guard or slugging first baseman or pitcher. And that's a common case. Then take the guy who never had any of that, but was preparing for his future nonetheless, smart, socially composed and a gentleman who isn't a pushover. How many of those guys get trucked like Adrian Peterson versus opposing defensive backs by women who want nothing to do with them for whatever reason?
So you get to college and it is a free for all. Unless you're a sad sack, socially awkward and incapable of developing relationships with people in general (which is what college is truly all about), how can you not be in position to meet ANY women whatsoever? So I don't pity shy dudes, or those who never cultivate any sort of relationship with people at all (save for those who are truly ostracized or have severe impairments).
But let me get to the crux of the issue: Ms. Independent. She who sprang up over the past 10-15 years. She who thinks where she went to college, how many degrees she has, where she works, how much she earns, where she lives, what KIND of house/condo/apartment she lives in, what she drives, where she dines and socializes after work, how any man who dares to step to her must have each of the things she has — ONLY MORE — meanwhile wanting the benefits of some of the old school traditional treatment that chivalrous men exhibited toward women for centuries.
Are you insane? You'd think I'd be making this up by writing about this and running down that (partial) list of "Must Haves" that so many women will utter nowadays. However, this video illustration — admittedly a parody — is not hyperbolic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgyg8vEHraE
Says all I need to say. This is so common nowadays. Having been burned by quite a few of these myself, I find it nearly impossible to muster any sympathy nor pity for women like this. The social climber who tries so hard to prove her already-given equality with men — if not an imagined superiority. I know so many women like this, and so do plenty of my friends, as they will chime in on this once I post; and they go through men like water through a colander. But only at their convenience. They give any guy who hints at a real committed relationship with an Ahmad Bradshaw-esque Heisman stiff-arm.
Then they wake up one day and they're 36 and all of a sudden expect the men they spend 15 years giving forearm shivers to suddenly show up at their doorstep and have all those moronic traits. You think the video is completely over-the-top and exaggerated, but while not many women ARTICULATE those things verbally, their ACTIONS DICTATE THAT IS HOW THEY THINK.
Now again, I know I am going to hear someone (usually a guilty party, or one who used to be like that) say "oh well, that ain't me! 'ha!'". Whatever. You WERE that way, and just as it is with gay people, you can't go through this life saying you don't know a woman who is like this.
I burst out laughing in the face — I mean my BARTENDER WITH THE WHITE TOWEL OVER MY SHOULDER, choppin' it up with the patrons with a few in my system SMOKER'S LAUGH — whenever I hear chicks go on the "There are no available Black men, they're all locked up, uneducated, drug dealers, gay/down low or married" rant. It's bullshit. WE ALL KNOW IT. If they were about what they claimed, guys like me would be beating them off with a stick 24/7. That is not the case. You'd think I had the plague, was learning deficient and was completely uncouth with no values. Anyone who knows me knows the breadth of qualities that I bring to the table. And I know tons of guys PERSONALLY who also possess the same. It's all just nonsense that further underlines the endemic problem:
THE GUILTY PARTIES WON'T LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ADDRESS THE PROBLEM: Themselves and their inflated and unrealistic "demands".
Most of the time, people who have these laundry list of "must-haves" usually don't even possess the qualities, traits and material things themselves that they demand from a potential mate.
I heard all my time growing up hearing women say "Men are SO SHALLOW". But seriously, as any man what he wants from a woman and the list is simple: 1) Need to be attracted to her/great sex 2) Peace at home 3) Supportive and caring wife. You may hear other things, but they are negotiable and most guys won't turn a woman away — if he's serious about marrying — if she DOESN'T possess those things. That would be analogous to me saying I'd turn a woman away who doesn't like sports fanatically or music as obsessively as I do. Would I do that? FOH. Of course not. But those types of demands are tantamount to those in that video.
To those who readily say "Oh, that's OHHHHH DEEEEE!!! That's not me!" realize 1) Good for you and 2) YOU ARE IN THE MINORITY, no matter how you slice it. For every one of you who isn't this way, TWO ARE. PERIOD.
I live in the most materialistic, superficial city in the United States. I see it at play all day every day. I've been to Atlanta far too many times to count, and I see it there also. The funny thing is, it's probably worse among Black women there than it is in New York, because you're still trying to figure out why the egos are so full of megalomania. It's not just a Black woman issue, again, I see all women doing it.
Now, I'm not letting dudes off the hook. I see a lot of pussified White men kissing women's asses and worshiping them to the point where they set themselves up to be walked over like this. I see a lot of Latinos who would rather marry, but have 17 mistresses and never commit fully to one woman than anything else. Asian men get a raw deal; especially here in the United States, but most of them rarely possess traits that the 2010 woman of any race seem to want. And let's not go into all the shit that Black men have to deal with that supersedes anything any group of men in this world have to deal with on nearly the same level…
I'm not going to run down the list of foul things men do. Why should I? I have every best seller book author, every panelist on Oprah and like talk shows and 156,721 blogs that do it for me. We hear that all the time. All I am doing is bringing light to the male point of view on this whole thing — even though the tide will never be balanced (look at the numbers I posted — I'm one man vs. hundreds of thousands complaining about men daily). Why try to excoriate me for pointing out facts and refusing to show pity or sympathy for someone who doesn't deserve it? I would only hope that people would see/read this and say "let's get back to our roles and try to find a way to fix this" and not rail against the messenger as if he is the one from whom all the ills in the social world emanate.
So many people like to take a general statement or axiom to heart, as if it is being spoken directly to and about them; when they fail to realize that the statement of fact is based upon the whole and not one individual. As I was always told, "take the meat and leave the bone; if it doesn't apply to you, why do you get so bent out of shape and offended?"
That's excellent advice and always… ALWAYS true.