Why I Am Not Married Yet – Once And For All


Why I Am Not Married Yet – Once And For All
10.8.08

If I get asked this ONE more time. Whether it is that old lady who always speaks to you and compliments your attire and hair, or that cousin you haven’t seen in a couple of years, or that ex co-worker that you bumped into who was always trying to hook you up with her slaggy friends — you get tired of it after a while. If the wrong person asks you on the wrong day, you MIGHT release on ’em!

But yeah, real quick — because even some of my friends (especially the ones who are just getting to know me in the past 2-3 years) have been asking me this and I’m sick of it. A little chronology of my adult life:

Throughout high school, I was stricken with Erythrodermic Psoriasis. I have a Photo Album on Facebook that exhibits what that affliction looks like — and yes, that’s EXACTLY what I looked like from late 1993 until early 2000. 24/7/365, the entire time. BE HONEST (ladies) — HOW MANY OF YOU WOULD GIVE A YOUNG DUDE WHO LOOKED LIKE THAT THE TIME OF DAY??? I’ll wait for a hand to come up so I can call you a boldface liar.

Fast forward. April, 2000. The Lord miraculously heals me. My skin clears up overnight. Literally. I wake up. I have newfound swag. Bought my first car (and since I never drive cars with hard mileage or old buckets; anyone who knows me knows my track record with cars) and I’m feeling good about myself. Except one thing: I’m 21 and work in an insurance company full of women 34, 37… 41… many of them RAW (my inner circle knows what that means) and the one or two that were my age were scary unattractive or hittin’ off all the non-homo dudes in the office.

I started that job in January 1998. Left in August 2005. I started at UNCG in the fall of 2004, so I spent a full year working full time (50 hours a week) and going to school full time (12-15 hours per semester), plus I was president of the Singles Ministry at our church, and had started two businesses within that time.

I am now at a college where I am 8, 9, 10, sometimes ELEVEN years older than the young women I’m surrounded by all day. Excuse me? And the only ones who are about a relationship are clingy, ugly, over the tonnage limit, what have you. You finally meet a couple of them here or there and they are either on some extra nonsense… psycho-feminist, or you finally meet one who COULD turn out to be about something, but you are diametric opposites on THE fundamental thing that is non-negotiable(faith beliefs) or That Chick who gives up that Butter the FIRST NIGHT (not hating on them, trust me lol… but for what I am looking for, do I need that…?)

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. Merely explaining. If I wanted to be a manwhore, I could easily have done it. I try to do what’s wRight. I try to set the standard. I’ve done some chicks wrong, I will admit LOL… I’ve had my share of “what the BLEEP!!! was I thinking that night???” moments, and many of them in the past two years. So I am not without fault or blame. But simply put, I have always been around cougars (from age 18 until 26) or greenbacks (now; around 18-22 year olds. When have I ever been around women my age… except for a few psychos from That Place (not saying where, because a few of them are on Facebook and will probably snitch on me for badmouthing That Place) but those of you who know me know where I am referring to.

I am going to state the glaringly obvious truth: “One stands a much better chance of meeting a potential life mate if he/she is around a multitude of peers of the opposite sex who are of similar age.”

Well, you don’t say?!?! I have no concept of what that is like. DEAD SERIOUS.

I hope that answers that question, because I’m going to give you the Lewis/Robinson Look to whoever asks me again until it happens; irrespective of age. That’s just how sick of hearing it I am. Have friends who “wonder” about me. Direct them to this blog post.

Both teams played hard.
Both teams played hard.
Both teams played hard.
Both teams played hard.
Both teams played hard.

God bless and good night.

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